Tag Archive | "merger"

Santa Claus finally sells out; cashes in


This Christmas, you might notice something a little different when you look up into the sky and see Santa and his reindeer in flight delivering presents to children all over the world.

In an unprecedented partnership, global shipping giant FedEx® has agreed to become the official sponsor of Santa Claus.

For years, financial analysts have been puzzled with how Santa’s operation could remain profitable with labor and production costs continuing to skyrocket. Read the full story

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, World NewsComments (0)

GlossyNews.com Is Under New Ownership


Effective as of midnight, GlossyNews.com is under new ownership. Editor Brian K. White has been relieved of his duties and a new editorial team will be shaping coverage from here out.

The sale had been in the works for some time. Media empire The Blaze Inc. is the purchaser, and while the sum paid is undisclosed, it is rumored to be in the four to five figure range. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets TubesComments (3)

Romney Proposes Leveraged Buyout of California


ORANGE COUNTY, CA: Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney flipped burgers on a grill at a fundraising luncheon for his campaign in Laguna Beach today, priced at fifty thousand dollars per French fry with burger prices going to the highest bidder over one hundred thousand, cheese another twenty-five G’s.

After he missed the grill the third time – the burgers splatting on concrete immediately showed up on You Tube – he gave the spatula over to one of his traveling chefs and took a moment to lay out his bold plan to remedy California’s ailing economy and state debt. Read the full story

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Crazy Woman Buys AOL for Fair Market Value: Negative $315 Million


It’s already being called the deal of the century, and there are still eighty-nine years to go. Liberal news aggregator and alleged Gabor sister Arianna Huffington now owns AOL.

Media watchers are at a loss to explain what happened or why it happened. Some experts talk of a rapidly changing era of mass communication not seen since Steve Guttenberg invented the printing press. Others maintain the usually savvy Huffington has made a fool’s bargain this time. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (2)

Google Buys Wikileaks for an Undisclosed $30 Billion USD


Mountain View, CA- GlossyNews.com In what is likely the fastest negotiated buyout in history, mega-corporation Google will purchase the redheaded stepchild of the information age, Wikileaks.org, from founder J. Paul Assange for a staggering, undisclosed sum of $30 billion USD.

An unidentified source has confirmed the money will changed hands, making accused condom-hater Assange one of the richest men on earth. How Google plans to dole out unreleased Wikileaks information was not addressed in the leaked statement. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, Internets TubesComments (0)

MySpace Facebook Merger? Like. MyFace. Dude.


DownUnder, Australia —This just-leaked domain name logo is the result of a recent unannounced, very, very secret almost-for-sure merger between FaceBook and MySpace and it’s going to be called Like.MyFace.

The use of the word ‘like’ in the domain name is to call special attention to their ownership of the most used word in the English language. The Murdochs say that they will be able to profit even if the word is in a logo with other words. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets TubesComments (1)

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