Tag Archive | "mental health"

Republicans Praised for Reducing Stigma for Psychopaths

Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–The National Institute of Mental Health congratulated the Republican Party for helping to accustom Americans to those with mental illness, by elevating obvious psychopaths to positions of high office.

Doctor Fernando Lamas, chairman of the Institute, said at a press conference that Republican voters have done the United States “a great service, showing more so-called progressive Americans that those with antisocial disorders–who are typically demonized in popular horror films–can be entrusted with political power as long as we shirk our civic duties and learn to keep lowering our standards for acceptable public behaviour.” Read the full story


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PETA Upset Over Mindy McCready Shooting Dog


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Dorner’s Body Identified, Satan Up One

The burned body of fugitive Christopher Dorner was identified late this afternoon as the charred remains that were pulled from the burned cabin in which police believed they had him surrounded on Tuesday afternoon.

While the method of identification has not been revealed at this time, there is absolute certainty that this is in fact the end of a very horrible and tragic episode for law enforcement in the state of California.

To the families of those who were injured and killed by this maniac we offer our prayers. For Mr. Dorner, you have used up all of the prayers that we could offer and now must deal with the fate you have chosen.

God bless those who choose protecting others as their mission in life.


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LaPierre “War On Liberal Media Requires Actual Guns”

A quote that is rumored to have been made by NRA leader and chief propagandist Wayne LaPierre recently implied that the war for public opinion against the liberal media was no longer just a war of words, it needed to be a war with actual guns.

His firmly held belief is that many in the liberal media are taking his irrational comments and using them against him in an effort to form public opinion so that the overall safety of citizens would out weigh his personal desire to continue to enrich himself with money from gun manufactures. Read the full story


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Romney Leads Among Schizophrenics

GlossyNews.com – CLEVELAND – A new Gallup poll released today finds that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney continues to trail President Obama in popularity among women, African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, people with cell phones, people aware of the internet, and voters under the age of 30.

However, the poll also found that Mr. Romney has managed to gain strong support among a key demographic here in the battleground state of Ohio: voters with multiple personality disorder (MPD). Read the full story


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President Romney’s Inaugural Address

“I think my biggest concern obviously would just be for his mental well-being.”

– Ann Romney on her concerns about her husband becoming President of the U.S.

My fellow Americans.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, heh, heh.

Wait. Give me a minute. I can’t breathe.

Whew. Okay. Read the full story


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Milwaukee Man Loses His Beer, Will to Live

Spotted on the snow-dusted roof of his modest ranch style home, Otto Franks, south side Milwaukee auto mechanic and reportedly stable and friendly man by all neighbor accounts, had threatened to jump to his death after forgetting the location of a freshly opened beer.

Police were eventually able to talk the man down, but only after offering him a Stella Artois and guaranteeing the bottle temperature to be a crisp 34 degrees Fahrenheit. Read the full story


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O’Reilly, Obama Find Common Ground; Glenn Beck is Nuts

President Obama sat down with Fox News Show host Bill O’Reilly in a rare and candid interview that touched on everything from the unrest in Egypt and how it should be handled, the economy and how to achieve a more stable union, and Obama’s thoughts on the 2012 elections. But it was Glenn Beck that really brought the two men together in a meeting of the minds. Read the full story


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House GOP Deny Irrelevancy: “Bull Nipples Would be VERY Useful”

Washington, DC: Congressional Republicans reacted angrily today at accusations of abject incompetence and political irrelevance from both within and outside the party. Republican leaders denied their perceived lack of any direction for the country in terms of ideas or policies was actually their “greatest strength.” Read the full story


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Salvation Army: More Bell Ringers Going Mad This Season

The Salvation Army has reported a higher than normal number of Christmas bell ringers going mad this holiday season.  Every year there are always a few who go loopy from the constant ringing of their little hand bells and the stress of keeping up a smile and good spirits while having to stand outside in one place in the cold for hours while mothers with their snotty brats walk buy making rude remarks and cars splash filthy mud over them. Read the full story


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