Tag Archive | "massacre"

Doctors Without Borders Invests in Body Armor, Bunkers

The medical charity Doctors Without Borders is stocking up on body armor, underground bunkers, and armored vehicles. It’s unusual for the group of volunteer doctors to take such measures, but recent attacks by the United States have made it necessary.

“No one wants people to survive in a war zone,” said the organization’s General Director, Christopher Stokes. “We have powerful enemies, enemies who are eager to murder us and anyone in our vicinity, civilians, doctors, anyone.”

A spokesman for the United States military confirmed this. “Our job is to kill people. These doctors are getting in the way when they save lives.” Read the full story


Posted in War Zone, World NewsComments (0)

Christmas Eve Massacre Leaves 15 Dead, Red-Nosed Reindeer in Custody

A lone shooter killed 15 in a bloody Christmas Eve massacre at the North Pole, sparking pandemonium when he lobbed a smoke bomb into a reindeer pen and opened fire from the roof atop Santa’s workshop.

North Pole law enforcement officials said the suspect in the shooting is Rudolph L. May, though many used to laugh and call him “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,” or “the 9th reindeer.” Read the full story


Posted in Crime, Kidz ZoneComments (1)

Pro-Gunners Disapprove Label “Sandy Hookers”

In an unsurprising turn of events, the pro-gunners like Wayne LaPierre of the NRA have come out publicly to insist they do not like being called “Sandy Hookers”. They have also said they don’t like being called “pro-gunners”.

“Just because we feel the tragic events at Sandy Hook shouldn’t be politicized doesn’t mean you can call us Sandy Hooker,” explained Todd Halford, a Tea Party activist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Read the full story


Posted in Crime, SocietyComments (3)

NRA: Recent Home Shooting Proves we Should Arm All Homes

Our nation was rocked this week when it was discovered that three minors and two adults were murdered in a spree shooting in New Mexico, prompting the NRA to declare that all homes should have an armed guard.

Bernalillo County Sherrif’s deputy’s were horrified at the scene, but NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre was quick to quip, “If this home had been armed, maybe things would have ended a little differently.” Read the full story


Posted in CrimeComments (3)

Teenager Opens Fire on Wayne LaPierre, Sean Hannity

National Rifle Association CEO and gun-rights martyr Wayne LaPierre likely was not expecting to be shot at as he celebrated the day after Gun Appreciation Day by shooting off his mouth with Sean Hannity on the Fox Comedy Network.

LaPierre said he considered Gun Appreciation Day a “big victory” for unsuspecting Americans in places like North Carolina, Indiana and Ohio, who came to pro-gun rallies to celebrate their 2nd Amendment freedom, not to shoot themselves. Read the full story


Posted in Celebrity Gossip, CrimeComments (7)

New Law Requires Gun Manufacturers to Clean Up Post-Massacre Mess

A new wrinkle in the gun control debate has come about. Sick of the inordinate control that gun makers have over our society and the political influence that have upon our government, a massive petition campaign has brought about a new law making gun makers responsible for cleaning up the mess left after a mass shooting.

After another mall massacre in California, the Bushmaster Firearms International Corporation, the companies whose gun the psycho used to blast 6 people, had to go in with trash bags and pick up the blasted pieces of flesh left scattered by the ferocity of the gun used. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (1)

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