Tag Archive | "Lindsay Bahkedfriesh"

Kanye West is a Breadophile: Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys


Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center.

The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award reception at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards arrived in a stretch limo and entered the building with a guest he introduced as Kim Karbatchian. Read the full story

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New Scrooge Tale Bakes The Halls


Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Add Macy’s to the long list of companies commemorating the loss of America’s beloved restaurant chain, the Olive Garden, this holiday season.

The Center City location announced that they have slightly altered Dickens Village, a tradition that has run unchanged for the last twenty years, displaying the tale of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

Dickens Village is a 6,000-square-foot walkthrough experience that transports visitors to 1840s London and features 26 heart-warming scenes housed in the Egyptian Room of the famed Wanamaker Building on Market Street. Read the full story

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Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse


Union, New Jersey – Chief Inventory Specialist, Brandon Pitabeard of Bread Bath & Beyond’s corporate headquarters made an astonishing discovery Monday morning when he found a toy dating back to the era when Olive Garden’s roamed the earth, more than 226 days ago.

Pitabeard found the antiquated toy, while extracting the store’s seasonal supply of Kim Kardashian Khristmas trees from the corporate warehouse, featuring an extra large base and a picture of her and ex-husband Kris Humphries on the top. Read the full story

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Tiger Breadsticks His Way Back Into The Masters


Jupiter Island, Florida – Despite withdrawing from the Masters earlier in the week after having unavoidable back surgery, Tiger Woods unexpectedly announced Thursday evening that he is back in the tournament and credits “the almighty breadstick” for helping him make a speedy recovery.

“His recuperation defies the laws of medicine and the capabilities of the human body. It demonstrates the healing power that this once complimentary item with the purchase of any entrée has and how much we still have to learn about them.” Said Tiger’s former Coach, Hank Haney, while watching an overjoyed Woods swing his club through a breaded ball, sending it almost seven feet into the air and into a pit of hot butter and garlic. Read the full story

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