Tag Archive | "kim kardashian"

Kanye West is a Breadophile! Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys!


Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center.

The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award reception at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards arrived in a stretch limo and entered the building with a guest he introduced as Kim Karbatchian. Read the full story

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Kim Kardashian Introduces $Rashtags on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon


New York City – Kim Kardashian added comedian to her long list of professions, Friday night, in front of a sold out crowd on The Tonight Show at NBC Studios.

Kardashian was joined by other celebrity guests including Michael Phelps, who recently found out the love of his life, a girl he met on the dating app, Tinder, was actually a man and the stars of the Dumb and Dumber remake, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. Read the full story

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Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse


Union, New Jersey – Chief Inventory Specialist, Brandon Pitabeard of Bread Bath & Beyond’s corporate headquarters made an astonishing discovery Monday morning when he found a toy dating back to the era when Olive Garden’s roamed the earth, more than 226 days ago.

Pitabeard found the antiquated toy, while extracting the store’s seasonal supply of Kim Kardashian Khristmas trees from the corporate warehouse, featuring an extra large base and a picture of her and ex-husband Kris Humphries on the top. Read the full story

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Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain


Yeezus, master of all universes, creator of light and darkness which thrives upon us has blamed and punished the innocent Kanye West for criticizing him in a public ceremony after calling him a “no good, dirty piece of shit” and “a disgrace to hip-hop music, if hip-hop was considered music.”

Yeezuits attending the ceremony had to escort Kanye out of the church building and into his vehicle, a 2014 Kim Sluté. Read the full story

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World Disappointed Apocalypse Didn’t Come December 2012


It is hard to believe that is has been almost a year since the world ended December 21, 2012. There are plenty of memories we would all like scrubbed from our brains over the past year. Here are just a few in a long list of forgettable moments.

December 4, 2013: NBC News states that America is “21th in Science.” It was to everyone’s surprise that the USA ranked 17th in Reading. This was proof of the ever declining IQ of the average American. Read the full story

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Kim Kardashian Opts for Butt Lift after Butt Pad Malfunctions


Sydney, Australia – An embarrassed Kim Kardashian was in tears last week due to a major malfunction of one of the silicone butt pads she was wearing. She reportedly was so embarrassed by the occurrence that she has scheduled a trip to Rio de Janeiro for emergency plastic surgery to have a Brazilian butt lift done so that this never happens again.

“We were out and about in Sydney late last Saturday night, drinking and dancing and having a marvelous time when Kim whispered to me, ‘my butt feels funny, take a look and see if it looks alright.’ Read the full story

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The McQueen is Dead — Waifs Around the World Panic


LONDON, U.K. — Shock waves rattled the foundations of the fashion industry Thursday when designer Alexander McQueen’s death made headlines. McQueen, 40, was found unresponsive at his London home. Paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene, with preliminary reports calling the tragedy a suicide. Read the full story

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