Tag Archive | "injuries"

Woman Chops Off Finger to Avoid Workplace Safety Rally


SAN FRANCISCO, California – A cafeteria employee cut off one of her own fingers with a butcher’s knife in an “act of desperation” after a co-worker reminded her that 99 days had elapsed since someone had been injured in a workplace accident.

“Whenever we go 100 days without an accident, we ‘celebrate’ by having one of those stupid safety rallies,” said Haruko Anaka, explaining the reason for her drastic action in the employee cafeteria. “I just didn’t think I could make it through another one.” Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, Human InterestComments (0)

Man Suffers Hernia, Sues Fast Food Chain


Jason Dimples, a 27-year old iron worker from Youngstown, Ohio, has recently filed a Complaint for injuries he received several months ago while dining with his family at a local fast food restaurant. In his Complaint, Dimples alleges he was carrying a tray of food to the table where his wife and two young sons were seated when he felt a sharp, stabbing pain in the area of his abdomen. Read the full story

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Boy 14, Cracks Skull in Attempt to Board Hogwarts Express


London, England (Glossy News) – Paramedics arrived at London King’s Cross Railway Station on September 1st at 11:13 a.m. after a teenage boy of fourteen years cracked his scull in an attempt to get to platform 9¾ from the very popular Harry Potter books.

Devon Kinney and his mother, Debora Kinney were on their way to board a train to Manchester when Debora turned around to check the train schedules. “I had my back to him for a second, and then all the sudden I heard a huge bang, and I turned around to see Devon on the ground with his head bleeding profuse amounts of blood.” Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Strange PeopleComments (0)

UK Roller Coaster Apes Final Destination 3


In a real-life enactment of the horror movie Final Destination 3 two carriages on a giant roller coaster ride collided at the UK’s Slagpool Pleasure Beach yesterday when one of them became jammed on the rails through an accumulation of pigeon shit and a total lack of maintenance and axle grease. Read the full story

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