Tag Archive | "Hillary Clinton"

4K Glossy News Podcast 069 (11-14-16) The Post-Election Rundown


The election is over, Donald Trump won, and here’s what it all means.

I called it wrong. That’s the long and short of it, no two ways about it. The polls were within the margin of error, but all the analysts and pundits called it wrong and so did I.

I suspect this means pollsters will be given far less credibility in the next election or few, and earn far less money for their prognostications, and well they should.

I was wrong. The betting markets were wrong. The poll analysts were wrong. Welcome to a Trump presidency. Read the full story

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It Ain’t Over Yet: Post-Election Leak of Clinton’s Secret White Millennial Meetup


The scandalous Clinton leaks continue! Here is the secret transcript of the first two days of November 2016, entitled:

‘Secret DNC Intelligence Briefings.’

November 1, 2016

Two days ago, Hillary Clinton delivered a stunning speech aimed at white millennial voters from a yoga mat in Boca Raton.

Recent advances in genomics allow us the opportunity to rid our children of misogyny, homophobia, and racism.

We can check our white privilege in the womb, and be stronger together.

Tim Kaine was told to delivered the identical speech (from a right wing eugenical perspective, rather than a left wing eugenical perspective), to an rally of 30 in West Palm Beach.

Under hostile questioning from Harball’s Chris Matthews, Donald Trump blurted out something about

White American men voting for Hillary… Believe me… These men are already castrated… Eunuchs… Make America hard again… Bigly.

Gary Johnson embraced a more libertarian position, stating

Men over 18 should have the choice of eliminating the warmongering gene in their genetic sequence… Ohhh, crap! Did that sound bad? Uh… maybe it should be delivered in edible form. Well hey! That a little better?

He further showed interest in taking a CEO position in just such a company after he is soundly defeated next week.

Jill Stein concurred with Johnson, but called for a “global public health care mandate,” also focusing on recycling.

November 2, 2016

Clinton returned to the topic of eugenics. By funding proper publicly accountable and socially expedient research, new advances in genetic engineering will rid conservative men of the underlying seeds of aggression…

E.g. testosterone, male genitalia, and other primitive and backward vestiges of the ancient pre-Clintonian patriarchy.

She says that in order to do this, we must overcharge breadline health insurance users, having first furnished them with a subtle subliminal assurance that:

If you want to keep your dick, you can keep your dick!

Separately she plans to ban the use of email in government, as history has shown that Republicans and other irresponsible right wing conservative bigots simply cannot be trusted with such.

Trump is rumored to be a little angry at this, as the next time Twitter crashes or Fox News has technical problems, he is going to have to rely on email briefings.

Still, he says he is not going to read them, even if he gets them.

Nobody does intelligence reports like me… Trust me, you’re gonna love ‘em!

It is consideredly somewhat unlikely, however, that he will ever once set pen to paper to write such.

The threat of conservative authoritarianism is so serious, that President Clinton must eliminate everyone’s ability to question the government…

Albeit, purely in order to foster a radically pluralistic society with a voluminous diversity of opinions and an active public sphere of debate! For it would be simply impossible to sustain all these latter, if authoritarian bigots and tyrannical fanatics were carelessly permitted to air their views, and to arrogantly prevent others from questioning them.

Angela Merkel, Nicolas Sarkozy and Theresa May have offered to provide as much assistance as they possibly can, short of any remotely substantial commitment of financial resources.

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Clinton vs Weiner: The Democrats Are Screwed?


Where are we and how did we get here?

I am paraphrasing the words of Jim Stockdale in the 1992 US Vice Presidential debate. Those are also the words much of the American electorate asks near Election Day.

A sure vote for corruption and expansionary political and military intervention lies on the Clinton side. We have spent two weeks learning via Wikileaks and the Veritas Project things no one wants for any candidacy.

In Mr Trump, we have a trailing opponent candidate standing strong in the face of some dreary personal failures. We had an October 1st kickoff to the insanity with NY Times release of Trump’s 1995 tax return featuring a $916 million tax loss. Trump’s grandest failure was just six days later with the Billy Bush tapes. Like this past week’s Clinton revelations, the daggers were secured by clandestine means. In this brave new world of ours, it seems few things of import remain permanently hidden even for the shadiest of operators. Read the full story

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Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters


In the final run-up to the US presidential elections, Hillary Clinton is hoping to ensure victory by winning-over the one demographic group that Donald Trump has yet failed to insult or alienate.

That group consists of white American men without a college degree. Much of the threat posed by Donald Trump comes from this group who represented nearly half of all voters in 2012.

A draft transcript of Clinton’s forthcoming speech has been obtained by this site and is reproduced below:

Today, I want to speak to a very important section of our society. I want to address those whose hard work and self-sacrifice made America the great country it is today.

I’m referring, of course, to you uneducated, white guys.

I want you all to put down those cans of beer, burgers and bottles of mayonnaise and listen to me for five minutes before you next go out to buy meth or shoot someone.

The future of America is in your hands, and I believe that you all need to take that responsibility very seriously.

I want you to think for a minute about the demographic – that’s a big word that means the group in society – to which you belong. You are uneducated white males. The clue’s in the name.

It might not be your fault that you’re not so smart. Maybe inbreeding or other factors mean you didn’t start out very bright. It’s the way things have turned out, however, and it would be as crazy to deny that as it would be to deny you are fellow Americans.

I’m not saying you’re not wonderful, hardworking guys. Our great country would collapse tomorrow if it wasn’t for all the unskilled, menial jobs you do. I want you to imagine, however, that you needed brain surgery. Would you ask a buddy to do it or would you try to find an educated doctor? If you were taking a plane, would you want an educated pilot to fly it or would you be happy for Homer Simpson to give it a go?

I’m willing to bet that, after you’d thought as hard as you could about it, at least half of you would want your brain surgeon or pilot to be educated, even if your buddy would do the job for a pack of beers.

I want those of you who would choose an educated brain surgeon or pilot to now ask yourselves why you would make that choice.

Would it be because an educated brain surgeon or pilot would know what they were doing? Maybe you think you’d have a better chance of surviving the operation or the flight.

Voting for a president is like doing brain surgery or flying that plane. There are a lot of complicated things to think about when you’re a president, and working out who could do the job best is really hard.

I’m appealing to all you uneducated white guys not to vote on November 8.

If a loved one needed that brain surgery, you’d owe it to them to get the very best surgeon. Each of you really know, deep in your hearts, that you wouldn’t be clever enough to be certain of picking the right person.

It’s just the same with this great land we all love. You owe it to your kids, your family, this wonderful country and the world, to not even try thinking about picking a president.

I say again to you all: “don’t vote”. Leave big choices to those with better brains.

America needs you to just stay in bed, watch TV and have another beer on November 8.

You know it’s the right thing to do.

You know, deep down, that it’s what God wants you to do.

Thank you.

God bless America.

God bless America.

Read the full story

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Trump: Hillary Drooled Through Debate


On Wednesday Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump proposed this new conspiracy theory about his Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton: that she drooled all the way through Monday’s debate.

“Didn’t notice at 1st,” he tweeted, “Crooked Hillary drooled all over herself @ debate. I scare her BIGLY Probably had seizure. Sad!” Read the full story

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Mother with Son ‘Bit Rough Around the Edges’ Endorses Hillary


Some are saying that the choice between Clinton and Trump really is an impossible one. An orange hued racist demagogue versus a blonde haired, blue eyed creepy Aryan interventionist. However, proud Mum Cabernet-Sauvignon Baxter of Brixton, London has just done the woman thaeng, and graciously defended the honour of future Nobel Peace Prize mass media photoshoot heroin heroine Hillary Rodham Clinton: Read the full story

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Donald Trump will lose Bigly in November (by the numbers): Video


The fans and haters demanded it, so here’s another fact-based analysis of why Donald Trump will lose, and lose BIGLY in November. (Scroll down for comments from YouTube.)

I’m not going on feelings or impressions, but the analytics provided by the myriad pollsters, the pollster analysts, and those analyzing the meta-analysis of the pollsters.

Donald Trump COULD still win, but the odds grow longer by the day. It ain’t pretty, if you’re him. Read the full story

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Devastating Campaign Trail Interview: Hillary ‘Misspeaks’ Over Links to Wall Street


Hillary Clinton is renowned for her talents in the highly competitive artistic fields of evasive and equivocal rhetoricmongering. How did she react recently when I grilled her about her ties to Wall Street?

Wall Street? Uh, excuse me, but we’re going to have to define our terms here. [Aside]: And by ‘we,’ I mean ‘me…’ ohhh, shit! It’s not really working this time, is it??

You know, all these big banks you are receiving money from?

Well, first of all, how do you define ‘big?’ Read the full story

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Clinton, Sanders Point Fingers Over Lousy Park Job


FLINT, MI – Following a heated debate Sunday evening in which Senator Bernie Sanders and former First Lady Hillary Clinton took opposite sides on a number of pressing issues, the pair got into another argument on Monday afternoon over a much less serious issue. While following the Democratic Code of Conduct in which the pair has agreed to carpool on the debate trail, both Presidential hopefuls were again at odds, this time over who was responsible for a terrible park job in a residential shopping mall.

“When you’re white, you don’t know what it’s like to be living in a ghetto,” Sanders responded when accused of parking the tiny, two-door black Acura in four spots at once by an enraged Clinton who pointed her finger upwards at the taller 5’8” Sanders. “Again, you have settled on a poor choice of words. I have never driven a car to the best of my knowledge,” an insistent Clinton fired back, while holding a set of car keys in her right hand.

The Flint debate was the first since the South Carolina primary, when Mrs. Clinton began to open up a commanding lead over Mr. Sanders in the race for the 2,383 delegates needed to clinch the Democratic nomination. On Sunday night, she sought to protect her edge with African-Americans, who have helped her more than any other constituency.

It is no secret that Sanders feels the nomination is slipping away and may have planned the bad park job in an effort to sabotage his competitor in the race to the White House. However, this could not be confirmed as shortly after the argument Clinton and Sanders joined forces for a haircut at the local Great Clips prior to their next stop in Detroit. Fortunately for the duo, Flint is currently experiencing a water pollution crisis and the only witness to the mispark was It’s A Cat, Just So You Know, Entertainment’s Reporter, Alfredo Loafcia, who was in town investigating an Oprah Winfrey sighting at the local Olive Garden.

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4K Glossy News Podcast 031 (2-22-16)


Despite having my office burglarized and almost all of my production gear stolen, the podcast is back with even more original than ever before.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the February 22nd, 2016 4K/UHD podcast.

* Review of the James Bond film “Spectre”. Spoiler alert, I wasn’t a big fan, but I give all the reasons.

* What do Chinese landlords do when stuff in their rentals break? I mean, it simply must do that all the time, right?

* The weird dreams I keep having about a fast, hot, topless Viper.

* Pop culture isn’t dead. In fact, it’s coming back stronger than ever.

* Why do top comics and intellectuals get $10,000 to $50,000 to give speeches, while Hillary, who isn’t a terribly good speaker, get a quarter million dollars? The answer may not surprise you.

* If “The Purge” was real, you know, the night when you can commit any crime without repercussion, it wouldn’t be all about murder like the movies show. No, there are a bunch of other crimes on which the problems would center.

Listen to it



Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.

Watch it on YouTube



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Segment bumpers and background music by Greg the Hero. Royalty Free Music “Your Call” and “Funkorama” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com. 4K/UHD Backgrounds by Amitai Angor AA VFX www.youtube.com/dvdangor2011.

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Donald Trump Dead


WASHINGTON, DC – Nancy Pelosi delivered a devastating blow to the Republican Party Monday afternoon by defeating leading Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, in a fierce game of Battleship that ended with Pelosi sinking Trump’s aircraft carrier. With a call of C-8, an overshadowing Pelosi gazed directly into the eyes of the man who has disrupted the lives of all other politicians since his campaign was officially launched on June 16, 2015.

“Back off Warchild, seriously.” Pelosi quoted Bodhi from her favorite movie Point Break that was recently remade and released on Christmas Day. However, Pelosi favors the original film that was released in 1991 and stars Hollywood hot-shot, Keanu Reeves and the late Patrick Swayze.

“Oh, that Patrick,” Pelosi gently murmured to reporters from the chair in which she killed the American business magnate whose hair was styled in the shape of a rabid cat to scare his opponent. “This was a battle won at the hands of Milton Bradley for the American People. We have rid the Presidential pool of Donald Trump!” Pelosi violently shouted with a continuous surge in energy, finishing her short speech standing up in her chair. Read the full story

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Clinton & Bush Condemn Trump for Upstaging the Good Guys


The Clinton and Bush Dynasties have released a joint mutual solidarity statement condemning Trump’s recent (allegedly) divisive populist policies…

As exclusively revealed on Glossy News over the course of the past 48 hours.

 

This typically balanced and dispassionate artefact of radical political performance theatre reads as follows: Read the full story

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Iowa State Fair Exhibits True Nature Of Politics by Having Presidential Candidates Penned up.


This year’s crop of Presidential weeds….. er… candidates made their appearance this week at the traditional show case starting gate for the quad yearly election- the Iowa State Fair. This time in a stock pen.

All the hopefuls vying for the so-called honor of being chosen the Commander in Chief of the entire United States were herded into a fenced off pen in one of the livestock barns and put on display. Read the full story

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Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates.


The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy.

The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into the community eye is that each and every one of them is a surgically altered Borg. Read the full story

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The Ballad of “Old Hillary”


THE BALLAD OF “OLD HILLARY” (sung to “The Battle of New Orleans”)

In twenty-fifteen we had a little slip
Along with Hillary Clinton on her presidential trip.
She wrote a little book but it didn’t sell so well
Then we fought the bloody Congress in a game of pick and tell.

(REFRAIN) We set our server so the emails could be chosen
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We booted once more and they began deletin’
On down the “Reset Button” to the Libyan shore.

We looked at our server and we see’d the emails come
There must have been a thousand of ‘em waitin’ to be spun.
They spoke so loud that they’d make the headlines sing
So we fingered our delete key and didn’t say a thing.

(REFRAIN) We set our server so the emails could be chosen
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We booted once more and they began deletin’
On down the “Reset Button” to the Libyan shore.

Old Hillary said we can take ‘em by surprise
If we delete my emails and fool them with our lies.
We held our breath til we see’d the emails go
Then we fixed our server so they would never show. Well,

(REFRAIN) We set our server so the emails could be chosen
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We booted once more and they began deletin’
On down the “Reset Button” to the Libyan shore.

Oh, they ran through the shredder and our lawyers’ beady eyes
And they ran past the reporters who couldn’t see our lies.
They ran so fast that Congress couldn’t catch ‘em
On down the “Reset Button” to the Libyan shore.

We used our server til it couldn’t serve no more
Then we grabbed some scissors to finish our chore.
We cut those emails that had a tale to tell
‘Bout the story of Bengazi that didn’t go so well.

(REFRAIN) We set our server so the emails could be chosen
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We booted once more and they began deletin’
On down the “Reset Button” to the Libyan shore.

Oh, they ran through the shredder and our lawyers’ beady eyes
And they ran past the reporters who couldn’t see our lies.
They ran so fast that Congress couldn’t catch ‘em
On down the “Reset Button” to the Libyan shore!

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(The) News (Really) Bytes – March


57 Republican Senators send a letter to the Iranian government stating that all of Obama’s efforts to create a truce between them and us is in vain because when they get back in power they will make them great, horrible enemies again so that their armaments keepers will still give them kickbacks- Way to go guys!

It wasn’t bad enough that you made Obama look bad by inviting that Yahoo named Netanyahu over to blather on about how this whole deal will endanger his own country that doesn’t give a whit about what is good for the U.S. or the rest of the world, only his land matters.

Just remember, Senators, that it is guys like you that started this whole mess with Iran. Do you recall back when we supported the Shah who was a ruthless dictator who slaughtered and tortured his own people? You don’t? I didn’t think so. The Iranians certainly haven’t forgotten.

The Republican memory doesn’t seem to roam much beyond the latest artificial crisis that they have themselves invented. And why is newly elected Senator Tom Cotton raising all this fuss in the first place? Aren’t they supposed to know their place according to right wing tradition?

Hillary’s emails – Speaking of artificial crises. Hillary kept her emails secret? So what! What are we, the National Enquirer? Rupert Murdoch nosing his way into everyone’s telephone conversations? With the NSA peeking at everything we do outside bedroom trysts maybe that is not a bad idea.

She even had her own server to help keep it private. Guess what? That makes her SMART! Isn’t that what you want in a Presidential candidate? Oh, I know- you Republican guys want another Bush. Forget I even mentioned it.

The Keystone Pipeline – It is the environmentalists against the right wing, or, another way of looking at it- the non-realistic idealists versus the ruthlessly greedy.

Question- they have refineries up in Canada don’t they?. They aren’t really a third world country that can’t turn black icky stuff into stinky clear stuff that will power your mobile up to the 7-11 for a late night booze run. Why can’t they just make the stuff up there?

Oh, I forgot, we have to control all the oil in the world. Sorry, I forgot. True, it will bring more employment. They already have so many people up there that it is throwing the original North Dakotans into turmoil. Plus there is all that work cleaning up the derailed crude oil trains. Also the streams they pollute.

Moscow finds ‘suspects’ in the killing of the dissident Boris Nemtsov – How convenient! The Moscow police find the ‘suspected’ killers of Boris Nemtsov, the opposition leader gunned down on his way home from a party.

And they just happen to be Chechen! How is that for odd! The Chechens are only Putin’s biggest pain in the butt in Russia, being Muslim and uppity and all.

Strange, though, that they would have a reason to shoot Boris Nemtsov. You would think that they would like anyone who rattles Putin’s cage. There is just no knowing on such things.

Except the KGB who just might know that this is a great way to kill (or imprison) two birds with one stone- Putin gets rid of two pains in the butt at one time, one being Nemtsov and the other being a number of Chechens who are probably nothing but trouble to him anyway.

India removes documentary on gang raping of young student on bus – Yeah, just pretend like it never happened. Maybe Indian girls should start wearing veils over their faces like the Muslims do.

Maybe the Indian government officials should too so that it harder to scrutinize them.

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