Tag Archive | "gulf coast"

Giant Sinkhole Draining Gulf of Mexico


NAPLES, FL – Despite warnings of rising coastal waters around the globe, scientists, in late 2012, found that the coastal waters abutting the Gulf of Mexico were actually declining at a rate of .001 (1/1000) inches per month. While in and of itself, this seems like an insignificant amount of change, over the course of the past year or so, the coastal shores have grown by more than that amount, or roughly .07 inches (7/100) or more. Read the full story

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Satire Writers Threaten Strike After Working Slowdown Goes Unnoticed


In uncertain economic times, people facing unemployment and foreclosure often find it difficult to empathize with artists who suffer writers block. Such was confirmed in a recent study from the Pew Research Center. According to the results:

67 percent of unemployed Gulf Coast shrimpers and tourism workers don’t daily think about people with writers block. Read the full story

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Bob Dylan Offers Help to a Mixed Up World: World Indifferent


GARY, Indiana, (GlossyNews) — Sixties icon Bob Dylan appeared, in all of his monochromatic splendor, at the National Press Club this week, announcing a new chapter in what’s already been an amazing career. Said the legendary balladeer, whom some consider the American version of Carl Sandburg, “Iben woando sum further you in furlong tom.” Read the full story

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Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill


Washington D C (GlossyNews) — In a stroke of political genius, President Obama has figured out a way to kill two birds with one oil blob. He has offered full American citizenship to any illegal immigrant who brings a mop, bucket or leaf blower down to the Gulf Coast and helps clean up the giant oil spill washing ashore.

In a hastily arranged press conference, President Obama could hardly contain his excitement. “It looks like the good Lord has provided us with a solution and given us an army of the best of the best when it comes to cleaning up a mess. The first line of defense will be 20 million Mexicans with leaf blowers who will attempt to change the course of the spill by blowing it into a neighboring country. Read the full story

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