Tag Archive | "gingrich"

Conservative Right Shares Plans To Revive Economy Post-Election


HOW REPUBLICANS WILL IMPROVE THE ECONOMY IF ELECTED:

• Start a new war to refocus attention off the bad state of national affairs and to bolster arm sales and allow corporate ‘service’ interests to leech money off the taxpayers to ‘support’ the military effort. Read the full story

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Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting


BATON ROUGE, LA —EBBQ Newt Gingrich hastily called a press conference after appearing on Sean Hannity’s FOXNEWS telecast.

He said in opening the sparsely attended 2-reporter conference: “I was completely misquoted in my answer to Sean where he said that I had harshly criticized President Obama for his comment on Trayvon Martin’s tragic shooting. Read the full story

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If Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History


Had the key 2012 Republican candidates* lived previous lives, what might have been their comments at the following historical events?

THE MIDDLE AGES- A WITCH BURNING:

SANTORUM: This harlot before us is one of Satan’s own who has used her for a tool of His evil! We must burn her until only the ashes of her sinfulness remain. The evidence shows her wickedness: She was seen dancing naked in the moonlight, she does not attend church on the Sabbath day, and she bathes only once a month. Read the full story

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WikiLeaks Reveals Newt-Mitt Meeting Details


Normally talkative sources from campaigns Gingrich and Romney remain silent on a recent summit between the two bitter rivals. Characterized by both camps as more a social ‘let bygones be bygones’ affair, the meeting has left election watchers wondering whether more than genteel rapprochements were exchanged. Suggestions of a quite different meeting were revealed this week, via a totally unexpected source. Read the full story

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Former GOP Candidates May Have Been Raptured


MCLEAN, VA —GlossyNews
The recently announced “early departure” of a 43-year-old right wing political activist and blogger has brought to the forefront an investigation into a viral GOPTea™ campaign that has begun figuratively taking down some big players: Bachmann, Cain, Pawlenty, Perry, Snowe. And the list keeps growing.

Who’s next? A list of names was found in the bottom drawer of a back office desk at the RNC headquarters in McLean, Virginia. Read the full story

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Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title “Greatest Circus On Earth”.


Ringling Brothers Circus is suing both the Republican and Democratic Parties for infringements on the copyright claim of running ‘The Biggest Circus In The World’. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now upset that the two Presidential Parties are now cutting into their business.

“Our clowns are at least professional!” stated Ringling Manager Chuck D. Cheese, a midget with the circus, as I held the mike down so he could speak up into it. “When we get laughs it is because we intend to. And we don’t wear no three piece suits trying to look normal.” Read the full story

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Recycling Republicans


SCENARIO- A secret laboratory deep underground beneath the American Heritage Think Tank And Karaoke Lounge in Washington. It is a room filled with strange scientific paraphernalia- tubes transporting strangely colored liquids run here and there connecting into buzzing machines. Varied colored indicator lights flicker on and off. All of these things seem to center upon a mysterious, human-shaped chamber filled with swirling gases in the middle of the room. Read the full story

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Guns Galore at 139th Annual Meeting of NRA


Charlotte, NC (GlossyNews) -– It’s all about guns. Guns, guns, guns. Guns and more guns. There are big guns, little guns, guns that kill just one person, and guns that are capable of killing more than one person at a time. Guns for show and guns for show-time. There are great gun names like Howitzer and Luger and, as Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, “nine milleemeeters.” There are assault rifles, sniper rifles, submachine guns, light machine guns, semi-automatics, fully automatics, auto automatics, super automatics, uber automatics, ahhhhhhhhtowmaaaaaatics. Read the full story

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Storm has DC Scrambling for Staples


WASHINGTON, D.C.— It all began innocently enough with light flakes around noon in downtown D.C. Forecasters warned of 30 inches or more of heavy, wet snow and powerful winds. Devastating for Washington. It would become the heaviest snowfall since January 1922 in the nation’s capital. Read the full story

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