Tag Archive | "Gay Pride"

God to Withhold Prayer Requests From Cor Jesu High School Administrators Since Firing of Gay Teachers


ST. LOUIS – Explaining that he had, “literally no idea what they were thinking,” deity of the Catholic Church and contributing author Yahweh said in a press release he would no longer be accepting prayer requests from officials at Cor Jesu Academy in reaction to their firing of two homosexual teachers.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can not, in good conscious, continue to cure the sick, pick winning lottery numbers, and alter the outcome of sporting events if the request comes from members of such an institution. These sanctions are both warranted and necessary.” Read the full story

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The Righteous Make Sure Message of Hate Not Lost on Disaster Victims


Andy Wass stands in a rubble pile that was recently his living room and makes stabbing motions at the sky with the pink flyer he holds in his work gloved hand. Andy is laughing. “Says here ‘God punishes Fag Lovers.’ Strange, but I’ve been living around here all my life; no Gay Pride parades yet.”

A short, muscular man of perhaps thirty, Wass lets the paper fall from his hand and looks toward the horizon. In every direction it seems as if the town has been carpet bombed. “I guess they usually stuff their flyers under windshield wipers. My car’s across the street upside down with an oak tree on top of it. So they stuck their paper in what’s left of my kid’s swing set.” Read the full story

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Tragedy Blamed on Mistaken Identity


TORONTO, Ontario (GlossyNews) RCMP District Superintendent Dudley Pemberton spoke to reporters today in the wake of what’s being called ‘the Toronto atrocity.’

“First, I want to say we tried to do right. All of you who snidely imply otherwise, you don’t have your facts straight. These G20 summits, it’s horrible. Young environmentalists flying in from all over the world to chant ‘no blood for oil’ and they’re spoiling for confrontation.” Read the full story

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