Tag Archive | "fundamentalism"

God Finds Message from All Humanity in Cucumber, Fanatics Outraged


It’s often asserted that messages from God can appear in mysterious places…

You know, the Madonna popping up in cheese sandwiches, Lady Gaga helping us see the light, Bible/Quran/Dianetics texts being found in the veins of tomatoes…

Although admittedly, the more fastidious believers tend to have violently assertive theological disagreements™ about which God is sending out the messages..

And, needless to say, about which messages (on the contrary) are forgeries by misguided and unenlightened rival believers™. Read the full story

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Scientists Discover 21 Benefits to Burkas


Burkas are the head to toe traditional wear for adult females in the most fundamentalist of Islamic countries. They are designed to cover up all possibilities of erotic stimulation coming from even the oldest of women.

Standard wear in much of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia, they are scorned as repressive by women throughout the rest of the world. It bears reexamining, however, as Western women might actually have much to gain from their use. Read the full story

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Taliban Starts Rightist Evangelical Branch in U.S.


The Taliban, recognizing the similarities between their doctrines and that of the Christian Right, have started an Evangelical Taliban branch in the U.S.

Spokesman Tali Wozati stated “Although Christian fundamentalists are heathen dogs who will burn in Hell fire for eternity, we find parts of their creed to be attractive- intolerance for anything not of your religion, repression of women, ignorance of individual rights, moral control over others and committing atrocities in the name of God to cite a few.” Read the full story

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