Tag Archive | "fashion"

Kardashians Slam Kendall Jenner’s “Boob Walk”


The Internet is all a twitter over Kendall Jenner’s romp down the catwalk at Thurdays New York Fashion Week dressed in a shear, boob flaunting Marc Jacobs original. It didn’t take long for the fur to fly.

In a tweet later that day half sister Khloe Kardashian posted “Boobs? What boobs? All I saw were a couple of chest pimples. Seriously, does she have a plastic surgeon?”.

Later Kourtney Kardashian followed up “Kendall is only half Kardashian. Obviously she got too many genes from ambiguously male daddy Bruce and not enough from the good side of the family.” Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, TelevisionComments (0)

Grandpa Oblivious That Unformed Bill of Baseball Cap Definitely Upping His Steez


FINDLAY, OHIO — Local 91 Year Old Alfred Wintacki remains oblivious to the fact that the unformed, flat bill of his Cleveland Indians snapback baseball cap is definitely upping his level of steez, several of his great-grandchildren confirmed yesterday. Read the full story

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Fashion Police Accused of Disproportionately Targeting Blacks


LOS ANGELES, CA – An investigation has begun into allegations that members of the fashion police have deliberately set out to target blacks during routine fashion exposes and before-and-after shots.

The announcement comes after 2,000,000 eye-witnesses reported seeing singer Beyonce attacked inside the pages of several high profile magazines earlier this month, when dozens of “highly unflattering” images of the pregnant star were allegedly exposed by fashion police. Read the full story

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Police credit urban fashion trend in helping to catch criminals


For years, our nation’s law enforcement agencies have made great technological strides in their efforts to hunt down criminals. Thanks to popular shows like CSI Miami, CSI New York, CSI Las Vegas, and the lesser known CSI Akron, CSI Schenectady and CSI Terre Haute, Indiana, police in our nation’s most crime-ridden cities (have you been to Terre Haute lately? Lock your doors!) are now able to use sophisticated tools to solve perplexing crimes and track down the bad guys.

But soon our nation’s police may turn to a decidedly low tech solution to help them catch a thief, that is, if they take my expert crime-prevention counsel. I give you Exhibit A: baggy pants – preferably worn about mid-thigh – by fashion-conscious urban gang members. Read the full story

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Local Hipster Unsure if 20 is Too Many Bracelets


Jason Just-Jason-Guy comes to this unmarked, semi-private club at least four nights a week to hear bands you’ve never heard of interpreting songs you woulnd’t get, but he wonders if he looks right.

“I put on some bracelets,” explains Jason, “but then I put on some more and some more, and I wonder if I’m being too indie when I do it, you know?” Read the full story

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Posted in Society, Strange PeopleComments (0)

Why did the hipster shop at the thrift store (comic)


Hipsters are odd, unpredictable sorts of people. They do things that at the same time seem needlessly expensive and perfectly hobo-esque. There’s just no predicting them, and they like it that way.

So why did the hipster shop at the thrift store? You may think you know the answer, but even if you do, and even if you’re right, you’re surely wrong, as they shift so quickly with the winds, so as never to be in-the-moment cool. Read the full story

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You Know What’s Great About Being a Hipster? (comic)


We all hate hipsters, it’s universal. Even hipsters themselves hate the term as much as they despise being one, which is odd, since it isn’t yet “cool” to be a hipster, so you’d think they’d love it.

(SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE CARTOON FULL SIZE)

It’s all pre-cool, meta-cool and any other filler terms I can think of to put here to make this seem like an actual entry, and not just a graphical post. Read the full story

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Posted in Comics, SocietyComments (1)

“Yoga Pants in Public” Innovator to Receive Congressional Medal of Freedom


In one of the first truly bipartisan initiatives in recent memory, the 113th US Congress voted overwhelmingly this morning to award the innovator of the “yoga pants in public” women’s fashion trend with the nation’s highest civilian honor, the Congressional Medal of Freedom.

Yoga pants left the gym in early 2012 and emerged as an everyday fashion item. The skin-tight garments can be seen from the supermarket to the runway and are especially popular on college campuses. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, SocietyComments (1)

Boyfriend Somehow Given Final Say Over Which of These 2 Dresses Goes Best with The White Heels


INDIANAPOLIS – Despite possessing virtually no discernible fashion sense or understanding of basic color-coordination, local boyfriend Joseph Clapham was somehow given final say Thursday over which of these two dresses goes best with the white heels.

Happy himself to just hit the town wearing a no-nonsense combination of a button shirt and jeans, the 24-year-old was nonetheless charged with the thankless task of picking between the black-and-white polka-dot dress or, alternatively, the sexy red one. Read the full story

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Hipster Insists “All Clothes Are Reversible”


Baron Davuson, a 30-something living in Seattle, knows HTML, database management craft beer brewing and how to dress like a wealthy hobo.

Davuson made a splash this week with his bold pronouncement, that any clothing can be made hip simply by exercising their innate reversibility, which almost everyone agrees is nonsense.

RIGHT: Here you can see Mr. Davuson’s “straight friend” showing off some designer jeans in reversible-style, to show just how trendy they are for hipsters… Read the full story

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Conference Attendee Changes Outfit Nine Times, Still Not Certain She’s “Dressy” Enough


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Gays in military ask for more fashionable fatigues


Washington, DC – On the high heels of the historic vote to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” openly gay troops are now pushing for the Pentagon to bring in the top fashion designers to create more stylish uniforms. Dubbing it the, “War on Utilitarianism” or, if you’ll pardon the pun, ‘Haute Couterror,’ the newly anointed military fashion faux pas police have announced a call to arms against fashion fatigue. Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, Top StoriesComments (13)

How I Hate My Wife’s Magazines “for Women”


These woman’s magazines that my wife read are filled with well-fashioned commercials of materialistic and luxury-seeking beauty and life styles.

So much that I can smell the hands of the high intellectuals who have carefully crafted these rhetoric to fool women. These are a special class of subservient intellectuals who are in the business of imposing thoughts to women of tender age, and framing ideas for big businesses that sell these female products, and telling all the women readers everywhere what they should believe about the world within themselves and around them. Read the full story

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Hollister Co Sues Hollister, CA Again – This Time For Bedbug Infestation


HOLLISTER, Calif. (GlossyNews) — Residents of Hollister, Calif. may find themselves on the wrong side of yet another lawsuit by clothing giant Hollister Co after bedbugs were discovered in Hollister Co’s SoHo store in New York.

While the source of the bedbugs has not yet been determined, all signs point to a certain Hollister, Calif. bed and breakfast called the Hollister House Ninepin Bowling and Gift Emporium. Local residents refer to the structure as an inn. Architects point out that the building is little more than a renovated Stuckey’s with a two-lane bowling alley installed near the kitchen. Read the full story

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Posted in SocietyComments (5)

Obama White House Loosens Up — Starts Gangsta Fridays


Washington DC (GlossyNews) — In a knee-jerk reaction to the accusation by Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) that the Obama Presidency was a “Gangster Government,” President Obama has decided to call her bluff and issue an executive order to his staff that makes every Friday Gangsta Friday, with appropriate dress required. One requirement, according to the Executive order, is that everyone, and that means everyone, must wear baggy pants, and ‘the lower the better.” It goes on to say, “I know this might be seen as highly offensive to the tight-ass tea baggers and white devil whores, but really, they can kiss our asses, so let’s at least give them a clear landing area.” Read the full story

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The McQueen is Dead — Waifs Around the World Panic


LONDON, U.K. — Shock waves rattled the foundations of the fashion industry Thursday when designer Alexander McQueen’s death made headlines. McQueen, 40, was found unresponsive at his London home. Paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene, with preliminary reports calling the tragedy a suicide. Read the full story

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