Tag Archive | "extinction"

Lame Duck Damaged, Begs Extinction


Environmentalists and naturalists have sounded the alarm for a threatened avian species resident in Washington, D.C. Having been spotted in the region for close to six years, this bird has recently suffered numerous setbacks and setblacks and appears to be on the verge of extinction.

Native to Chicago, it was once a flamboyant bird that was erroneously identified as a trumpeter swan. People were enthralled by its unusual dark-colored plumage and impressive wingspan and singing voice although some were put off by its arugula-based diet. Read the full story

Posted in EnvironmentComments (1)

FEMA Releases Prep Guide for an Extinction-sized Meteorite Impact


WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — The thought of an approaching meteor the size of Manhattan is certain to cause anyone a fair amount of anxiety.  However, you can provide some level of comfort to your family by attempting to prepare for this once-in-a-billion-years event. 

Small objects are constantly colliding with the earth every day, and most go unnoticed.  Large meteors however will very rarely cross Earth’s orbit but one can never be too prepared for the “Big One”. 

The Federal Emergency Management Agency has released simple recommendations that will guide you in avoiding the apocalyptic devastation that astronomers tell us isn’t a matter of “if” but rather “quite possibly any day now Read the full story

Posted in Health, ScienceComments (0)

Ancient New England Dialect Extinct After Last Speaker Dies


BOSTON, Massachusetts — One of the country’s oldest dialects, which traces its origins to before the American Revolution, has become extinct after the last person to speak it died.

Winthrop Quincy Endicott Lowell VI, the last surviving heir to the Endicott compost fortune, took his life Sunday after declaring bankruptcy, the result of his family’s close ties with financial institutions heavily vested in the fraudulent derivatives market. Read the full story

Posted in Human InterestComments (2)

EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming!


Washington, DC (BNSE): The Environmental Protection Agency released its updated quarterly findings today, which placed “Free Speech Carbon Emissions” as “one of the largest unchecked sources of Carbon Dioxide contamination in North America.” Read the full story

Posted in EnvironmentComments (0)

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial