Tag Archive | "england"

Purr Gate

David Cameron coughed up a fur ball this week when he told ex-mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg that the Queen “purred” when she had heard the result of the Scottish Referendum.

During this conversation it has also been revealed that whilst the Queen purred like a cat, Prince Philip could be heard barking like a raving lunatic in a basket of used tissues.

“So she was purring, right?” says Cameron “I then I thought one of the corgis had got her but then it shouted out something racist.” Read the full story


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Mitt Romney Can’t Possibly Be That Dumb – Reaction From England

As the election campaign gathers pace, and the Republican Party appear to be exposing their inherent incompetency, a British correspondent expressed utter disbelief that any candidate for the Presidency, without doubt the most influential position in the world, could possibly be as idiotic as Mitt Romney.

“You’re kidding me! Right? Please tell me you’re joking. A candidate for the Presidency fails to grasp that you can’t open windows on an aircraft to let a bit of fresh air in?” asked Martin Shuttlecock, of Skoob News International. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Topless Pictures of Kate Middleton Leave Observers Saying “Meh”

LONDON- A French tabloid is under scrutiny for publishing pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge topless. While Americans and the rest of the world fell in love with Kate when she was getting married, the recent photos have swayed public opinion.

“I mean, she’s pretty and all, but now I know the top of that wedding dress was definitely stuffed. I’m not sure if I can trust a divine sovereign who stuffs her bra,” says a British man walking the streets of London. Read the full story


Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (2)

News Of The World–Year 2020 (Man Are We Screwed)


News highlights- Reuters- April 1, 2020.


The once wealthy nation of Switzerland, still refusing to join the EU, has suffered yet another downturn in it’s economy.

At one time the jewel of Europe and one of it’s wealthiest countries in the world, this small land is suffering its blackest financial year yet as the last bulwark of its economy. “The Swiss Cuckoo Clock Factory has had to lay off 50% of its employees,” said a company spokesman who prefers to remain anonymous. “Those damn digitals have finally done us in!” Read the full story


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London Rioters Disrupt Tea at the Ritz

Attendees at London’s plush Ritz Tearooms anticipating a quiet sojourn from the hustle and bustle of the city in order to discuss the cricket and deerstalking in the Highlands of Scotland almost choked on their crumpets as the Ritz was attacked by a group of rabid anarchists hell-bent on destruction.

The black clad marauders – their faces obscured by ski masks – smashed windows with metal poles and traffic signs. Anarchist symbols were spray painted all over the exterior as police struggled to control the mayhem. Read the full story


Posted in World NewsComments (5)

Shocking Evidence Of The Real Relationship Between Sherlock Holmes And His Aide Dr. Watson.

The long ongoing question of just what sort of ‘relationship’ there was between Sherlock Holmes and his ‘companion’ Dr. Watson has finally been found. The odd part of it is that the answer has been right in front of our noses for a century.

Refer please to the third paragraph of ‘The Adventure Of The Speckled Band’ by Arthur Conan Doyle…oh, EXCUSE me!!!! SIR Arthur Conan Doyle- everybody has to be so high and mighty these days. (No relation to Schwarzenegger’s Conan the Barbarian Read the full story


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Ancient British Alphabet Block Discovered

NORTHERN ENGLAND (BobZaguy) – British archaeologists at the University of York in the city of York, have found quite the rare surprise — an unusually well-preserved children’s alphabet block. It is pictured in the bottom right hand corner of the photo at left. Next to what at first glance seems to be a human skull. Read the full story


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Zagat: Prison Grub Beats Hospital Food

Researchers from the government’s Institute for Wasting Time & Money have recently decided that the food provided in HM Prisons is better than in NHS hospitals – which ultimately may support the pointless argument that people live longer in prisons than they do in hospitals. Read the full story


Posted in Health, World NewsComments (0)

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