Tag Archive | "employment"

Guy Desperate for Job Will Take Anything That Doesn’t Make Him Question Self Worth


Jacob Ericsson is broke and about to be homeless.

But he’s looking for work and will accept any offers as long as he’s not “too good” for the job.

Ericsson made a plea for any and everyone to e-mail him leads for jobs around Los Angeles, adding he probably wouldn’t follow up on positions with a long commute or where he’d be embarrassed to be seen by ex-girlfriends. Read the full story

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Long-Term Unemployed Go Back for Degree, Pointless (comic)


This was originally written with the genders reversed, so don’t hate on me, bro or bro-sis. It’s recycled art, so I switched genders based strictly on where they were standing.

The long-term unemployment problem of our youth is seriously problematic. In part because X, but also because of Y, not to even mention Z, which is likely the biggest factor of all. Read the full story

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Oil Down on No News


With a lack of signals coming from analysts and virtually no news that could have an impact on crude prices, oil has again suffered moderate setbacks today.

Confounding investors who lack any fundamentals to trade on, Wall Street again witnessed a pull back affecting US crude oil prices.

Analysts say absolutely any news is good for supporting oil. When unemployment figures rise, crude offers a safe haven for investors fearing an economic slowdown, while any improvement in the economy signals potential for increased demand. Read the full story

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Report Finds Today Crappiest Day Since Forever


INDIANAPOLIS – A new report conducted by professors at Indiana University has found that today – Tuesday, September 25th, 2012 – has been, like, the crappiest day ever.

It’s not gonna lie, continued the report, this has been one utterly sucky day.

Things apparently started off badly at around 7:30 when the nation’s alarm clock went off at approximately the very time everyone thought it was still around 6:45, and quickly progressed into the absolute worst fucking day of all time. Read the full story

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Report: 58% of Unemployed Actively Failing to Look for Work


WASHINGTON D.C. – The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics has found that almost 60% of citizens registered as unemployed are nonetheless actively failing to seek out work.

A study released on the department’s website indicates that approximately 15 million people spend around 24 hours a day not looking at job postings, employment options, or career guidance pamphlets.

“In most cases, Americans who find themselves without a job are at least dedicating a good portion of their time to not seeking out gainful employment,” said BLS analyst Sandra Corzoli. “A large number of Americans might be out of work right now, but it’s absolutely for a lack of trying.”

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It’s Not Easy Robbing Banks These Days


“God I hate banks,” said the young businessman who was taking his lunch hour to deposit his pay cheque while the company he had started with worked out the details of his direct depositing.

“Why the hell do we have to wait in line for three goddamn hours to put our money in their banks so they can make money off of us? I should be able to do this on my phone. *%&%, I can practically drive my phone but I can’t put money in the bank? Bull%&%#, I call bull@!&#.” Read the full story

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Everyone in Office Takes Vacation Day on Gay Guy’s Birthday


When Morey Leonard arrived at work today, riding high because for once during the year everyone in the office will be nice to him, he found nearly everyone had taken the day off. This seemed strange because just a few weeks ago, Leonard wanted a day off to drive his partner to the airport for an extended trip to see his sick father. His request was denied because, “the office can’t function with more than two people out at a time.” Read the full story

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Ass Kissing In The Workplace


This month I would like to share with you my observations about brown nosing in the office. By brown nosing, I mean ass kissing. The reason that I state that these are my observations is to be clear that this is not my behavior, but rather the behavior of my coworkers as observed here at the hospital in New Jersey. For some good definitions of brown nosing, see this link at Urban Dictionary.com. Read the full story

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