Tag Archive | "dollars"

Scientists Dismayed As BP Throws More Oil-Absorbent Cash at Gulf


Since the 2010 explosion on the Deep Water Horizon offshore oil rig, which killed 11 people and spilled 205 million gallons of crude oil, British Petroleum has been pumping billions of oil-absorbing dollar bills into the Gulf of Mexico and Mississippi Delta.

The BP money has become a symbol of the company’s continued effort to restore the ecosystems decimated by the spill. However, according to environmental scientists, the oil-absorbing cash isn’t helping as much as BP predicted and in some cases, is even exacerbating problems in the affected areas. Read the full story

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World’s Richest Upset They’re Limited to 99.8% of Wealth


People who make up the richest 1% of the world’s population and who already own 98% of the world’s wealth were shocked to learn today that they could not have the last 2% of the wealth that belonged to the other 99% of the people.

“Why, I just don’t understand it,” said Mrs. Sarah Bueford, major shareholder of Bueford Electric, the monopoly that controls all of the power for the states in the southeast part of the U.S. “After all, we are the elite of this world. By reason of the fact that we are the upper class of the world, we should own everything there is!” Read the full story

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Pelosi Plans Grand Canyon Sale to Chinese to Balance Budget


Washington, DC –  (Glossy News Exclusive!)  In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking debt relief, Treasury officials announced a sweeping step-by-step plan to eliminate the nation’s debt held by foreign governments.

Secretary Paulus Franks gave reporters details on the amount of Treasury Notes held by the government of China and the ramifications it had on future American financial growth and expansion of the free enterprise markets in this country. Read the full story

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