Posted on 06 November 2012.
GlossyNews.com – In a surprise move, George W. Bush has endorsed Barack Obama in today’s election.
“I know you all must think I’ve been drunking crazy-water,” said Mr. Bush. “But the more I looked at that Barry fellows record, the more I realized that we have a lot in common. We both created trillion dollar deficits, both had to deal with ongoing wars [in Iraq and Afghanistan] and both had to spend a lot of time cleaning up bushes.” Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 13 September 2012.
A recent poll asked participants to name who they thought was the most evil person in history. The results, while not entirely surprising, did say a lot about just how unlikeable Dick Cheney has become over the years.
What was surprising to some was the fact that Cheney didn’t top the list at number one, but that could be due to the fact that some of the participants were actually Republicans. Read the full story
Posted in Human Interest
Posted on 07 July 2012.
Tyler, Wyoming – (GlossyNews.com) – Ex-vice president Dick Cheney, an avid bird hunter who has helped his post heart transplant surgery by getting back outdoors, was injured in a freak accident duck hunting at one of the lakes in rural Wyoming. According to close friends, Cheney recently was out on the marsh for a weekend of hunting with friends and some staffers. As circumstance would have it, he decided to relieve himself against a pine tree… That’s when troubled brewed. Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 10 June 2012.
There are levels of Hell that even Dante did not know. (Image courtesy of outletradio.com)
Hells that are not bright and hot but with an icy cold that freezes thought itself.
Hells of place, of emotion, of mind, of other people.
And there are places on earth where these Hells break through to the surface and there manifest. Read the full story
Posted in Health
Posted on 23 April 2011.
Polling across the world has indicated that many people, especially in America, consider Dick Cheney to be “the worst President in history.’
Cheney, using someone named ‘Bush’ as a front man, controlled and manipulated U.S. political procedure to the point of near-dictatorship. Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Strange People
Posted on 01 April 2011.
Burning Candles, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle.
Former GOP presidential candidate John McCain will launch another bid for the White House in 2044, and is “firmly committed to running a vigorous, full-steam ahead” campaign. Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Top Stories
Posted on 29 January 2011.
Bending to demand from potential organ donors, the World Organ Donor Bank, which issues organ donor cards, has printed a box on their cards that allows donors to opt-out when it comes to donating a heart to Vice-President and war profiteer, Dick Cheney. It reads: Could you ever be dead enough to allow Dick Cheney to get your heart? Check YES or NO. Read the full story
Posted in War Zone
Posted on 26 January 2011.
Surgeons have had great difficulty with fitting former President of Vice Dick Cheney (aka- ‘Tricky Dicky the Second’) with a transplanted heart. Each attempt to put a foreign heart into the open breast of Mr. Cheney has resulted in rejection- not Mr. Cheney’s body rejecting the heart but rather in a show of patriotic, defiant, graft versus host disease sort of way, the heart is rejecting Mr. Cheney. Read the full story
Posted in Health, Politics
Posted on 07 January 2011.
George W. was accepted on as the official court Jester for the Obama cabinet. Appearing before the assembled advisers for the first time, W. had them suppressing giggles as soon as he opened his mouth.
“I am pleased as punch to be able to make this contribution to the nation. But I thought you said I was to be the ‘Court Tester’? “ said a perplexed Bush. “I’m not sure I understand what this position is all about.” Read the full story
Posted in Entertainment, Politics
Posted on 18 December 2010.
President Obama gazed down from the icy bridge into the swirling frigid waters of the Potomac below him. In the darkness of the night the distance between him and its whirlpools seemed vast. He was at an end.
The difficulties of his Presidency seemed as dark, endless and foreboding as the waters he looked down upon. The constant assault and harassment by foes, the never ending undermining by the Republicans and the slings and arrows of a thousand misfortunes pulled the earth itself out from under him. Now even his own party was turning against him. Read the full story
Posted in Entertainment, Politics
Posted on 05 December 2010.
Dick Cheney returns to the worlds spotlight this week as he appears in his first movie part–reprising the unforgettable Peter Sellers role of Dr. Strangelove in the remake of the Stanley Kubrik movie of the same name.
Sellers made cinematic history as the wheelchair-bound, ex-Nazi atomic physicist who has a problem trying to keep his right hand from making the famous “Heil Hitler” salute. Cheney, considered a natural for the role, is reported to have needed few acting lessons to ‘become’ Strangelove. Read the full story
Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures
Posted on 12 November 2010.
Inspired by the success and the popularity of Marvel Comics ‘Iron Man’ movie series, Dick Cheney has decided to use the millions he gathered during his tenure as the head of Halliburton and as the shadow head of the United States of America to reinvent himself as a new superhero- Oil Man.
Tired of being seen as just another greedy bastard who could do whatever he wanted he now wanted to be another greedy bastard with super powers who could do whatever he wanted. Read the full story
Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Talky Pictures
Posted on 01 September 2010.
TYLER, Wyoming – (Glossy News) -Ex-Vice President Dick Cheney is an avid hunter and has filled his time during retirement by duck hunting near his Casper, Wyoming ranch.
According to friends, Cheney recently was out on the marsh for a weekend of hunting. As circumstance would have it, he decided to relieve himself against a tree…that’s when trouble began to brew. Read the full story
Posted in Top Stories
Posted on 10 July 2010.
Plans on Turning K Street into a Giant Dunk Tank
WASHINGTON, DC (GlossyNews) -– Today, President Barack Obama took one of his strongest stands to date against the corporate interests dogging his efforts to bring true change to America. Not only is he planning on issuing a mandate that sends all the corporate lobbyists with offices on K Street packing, but he intends to do something no other President before him has had the guts to do. Obama is going to make each and every one of them pay for the shameful way they’ve attempted to openly buy off not only the American people, but also the government of the United States of America. Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 30 June 2010.
HOLLISTER, California (GLossyNews) — Satan is said to be madder than hell at his minions this week after he learned that more than one, and possibly as many as eight Anti-Christs have been unleashed upon the Earth during the past century.
Harry Scarem, a demonologist from California was able to ascertain this after a particularly grueling satanic ritual over the weekend wherein Satan personally appeared for a few moments to explain the error. Said Satan, “I would have sent one of my minions, but they are all idiots.” Read the full story
Posted in Religionism
Posted on 18 June 2010.
ATHENS, Greece (GlossyNews) — Today on Mt. Olympus, hearts were broken, tears were shed, and millennia long careers ended as the news was made official. In obedience to the EU bailout plan, Greece has reluctantly agreed; lots of gods and goddesses gotta go.
Delivery of the sad news fell to Minister for Deity Liaison Aristotle Gotapopolis, who later told Glossy News the reaction was decidedly mixed.
“Hera, she knew it was coming, Read the full story
Posted in World News