Tag Archive | "dating"

Here Come the Trots! The Best Trotskyite Chat-Up Lines for Discerning Middle-Class Bachelors


Everybody loves a good Trot.

These lovers have got it all:

Sobriety, solemnity, petit-bourgeois decency, and best of all…

An utter crapload of unrelieved sexual frustration!

I coulda said ‘planet-sized intellect’ too, but…

Nah!

Have a go with these and see how much progress you actually make…

Who’s hot to Trot?

And who do women need like a hole in the head? Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Top StoriesComments (0)

Autism: Advantage with Women & Aphrodisiac? Autism Can Land You a Hot Girlfriend


Autism diagnoses started to soar in the 1990s and those new cases are now adults in their early twenties.  Society and the media have noted the need for employers to hire those on the spectrum.  This has lead to major media outlets such as the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times publishing articles on how autism is an advantage in the workplace and how it can land you a job.  Read the full story

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Posted in Health, Human InterestComments (0)

Autism and the Single Life: Humorous Quotes to take the Sting out of Celibacy


Celibacy is a real problem for many autistic males. You don’t get to hear about it much because the powers that be only publicizes writings of successful autistics like Stephen Shore who can get married and Temple Grandin, a female who claims to be celibate by choice. The problems of the invisible autistic adult are ignored and people act like autistics remain Peter Pans.

Most of the internet autistics do not write much about this problem. Trust me, it is there, it exists. Read the full story

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Brief Dating Site Blah Blah Whatever [VIDEO]


Dating sites pride themselves on how complicated they are. This site breaks that mold by asking you to do less and less.

“Almost nothing, really,” said Byron Dwight, CEO and actual site member. “Just a quick tl;dr of yourself and we’ll get you matched up with someone.”

TL;DR is an internet abbreviation meaning “too long; didn’t read,” and it’s the big selling point of Tillder Dating. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology, Video NewsComments (3)

How to initiate a Twerk Session


It’s a Friday night. Classes went well because you didn’t drool on your desk when you fell asleep during the lecture in Philosophy class, and the girl who sits behind you agreed to go to a house party with you tonight.

Problem is, it’s a dance party, and you don’t know how to dance. Take a deep breath and don’t think too much. Remember to pregame with your buddies and don’t be a pansy this time, actually finish all the beer that you will buy because you’re going to need to relax and not care so much about what you think, or about what her friends think when they come along with you guys. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Local Man Subjects Self to Sick Experiment


CINCINNATI, OH—In an act that can only be described as some kind of emotional masochism, David Lauder, resident single, recently created a profile on a popular website intended for dating.

The so-called “dating website” is a service that allows users, free of charge, to create a profile of themselves featuring a picture, some of their interests, and perhaps what they’re looking for in an ideal mate.

In the time since Lauder created his profile he has sent a number of messages to women he finds desirable on a variety of different levels. Read the full story

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Men Admit the Number One Thing They Love in Women (comic)


We’ve all been there, maybe not quite this explicitly, but the sentiments still remain. The vast majority of men love women, all women, in ways they can’t describe… at least, not out loud.

Guys, we can pretend to be gentlemen all we want, but when the rubber meets the road, or whatever place it is that one’s rubber might meet, you have to learn that sometimes it’s okay to shut your damn pie hole. Read the full story

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Non-Sexual Freinds Seek “Higher Level” w/ Obvious Results (comic)


Ever had that opposite-gender friend you were “just friends” with, and wanted to take it to another level? Well there is another level, but sadly, you’re probably not in the same place.

Once you each spill the beans, there’s little left to be said but “Sorry, maybe we can be friends again in the future.” Short answer advice, just keep it to yourself. If it was meant to be, it will happen without intervention. Read the full story

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Study: Men Will Say Anything for Sex Opportunity (comic)


If you’ve ever tasted alcohol, you know what it’s like to crave a sub-desirable person of the opposite sex, and if you’ve ever gotten to know them well enough, you know what it is to lie about who you are, what you want and where you’re going in life just to get a taste of them.

I’m not condoning the practice, but I am acknowledging it. It happens on both sides of the gender aisle. He’s cute enough but dumb as a post. She’s morbidly obese but still technically has a vagina. It’s the same thing either way. Read the full story

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Unconditional Love Granted, Conditionally (comic)


We all know what love is, it’s falling unconditionally in love with another person so that they can do no wrong… until, of course, they actually do wrong, then to hell with them! Amirite?

The conditions on your love may be simple or complex, plain or convoluted, but one truth remains, it’s impossibly bullshitty.

Him going to game night with his buddies, like has since forever, is actually normal. Her buying makeup you don’t think she needs is just part of her ritual. Read the full story

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Posted in ComicsComments (1)

Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)


You ever met a girl you thought was really awesome? Like awesome enough you might even love, but you were afraid to say it? Well not saying it can hold risks as big as that of over-sharing your feelings.

Maybe you guys have hung out a bunch, maybe you’ve just met, maybe you haven’t even met yet, but have made passionate love in dangerous and regrettable ways for days. No matter the case, this comic is for you. Read the full story

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Relationship Bound to End in Failure (COMIC)


Ever feel like you’re in a relationship for all the wrong reasons, or in the right relationship for all the right reasons, but with the wrong person? This web comic knows exactly how you feel.

Click on the comic to enlarge it and see it full size

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Posted in Comics, Human InterestComments (0)

I Met a Hotty on Reddit (comic)


Oh man, this “girl” I met is just so awesome. We have the same interests and everything. I tell her what I like, then about 5-hours later she writes back with remarkably specific things about my interest. Like as if she’d just Googled it and fed me back a bunch of random lines.

But this is Reddit, and liars are simply not permitted. I can’t say definitively that we’re going to be together forever, but I have a pretty strong suspicion. Read the full story

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Posted in Comics, Internets TubesComments (1)

Dumb-talking Girl Deemed Sufficiently Cute (comic)


We’ve all been to that party. There’s a girl there, maybe she’s drunk or just otherwise an idiot, and you just listen and listen as she prattles on about who-cares-what, because there’s that outside chance you can plant a kiss on her.

Well this comic is all about that.

You found an adorable little party-monkey, you don’t care that she’s spouting off random whatever about, let’s be honest, less important whatever stuffs… but you just let her talk and talk and talk. Yeah baby, that’s super interesting.

How I met my wife. We’re quite happy*.

29-simple-girl

* Not actually married. Long story.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Posted in Comics, SocietyComments (1)

Husband Doubts His Wife’s State of Intimacy (COMIC)


If you love your wife, and you doubt that she might love you quite as much back, then you are not alone. Just talk to her and communicate your feelings, and before you know it, the answer will become evident to you.

Click on the image at right to enlarge it and see it full-sized.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Posted in Comics, SocietyComments (1)

Taylor Swift Diagnosed with Venereal Diseases


Today, surprising information came to light which reveals that Taylor Swift was recently treated for gonorrhea and chlamydia of her genitalia and throat.

Further details show that the chart-topping songstress has also received treatment for herpes, syphilis, human papilloma virus (HPV), trichomoniasis, scabies, and pubic lice (crabs). Continue reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, HealthComments (14)

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