Tag Archive | "cookie"

Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial


LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”.

The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and there is no word, yet, regarding how much time passed before his stomach was pumped. This is only the second Fig Newton related case confirmed in the United States within the last year. Read the full story

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Joe Walsh (R-IL) Yells At Voters, What Is Freakin’ Wrong With You?


GlossyNews.com – Illinois one term congressman Joe Walsh created a spectacle outside a rural voting precinct this morning when he lashed out at several voters who snickered at him after voting for his opponent.

The congressman, never known for being balanced in policy or mentally, finally tired of the constant ridicule from his constituents and started taunting them for not voting for him. Several people were extremely offended by his off-color language and impressively racist statements. Read the full story

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What’s Harder Than Voting for “The Other Guy”


I have discovered what the hardest thing any person will ever have to do in life is. The hardest things in life is biting into a person’s homemade cookie and trying not to show any signs of how bad you think it tastes in front of them.

Yes, you all heard me correctly. Can you imagine the difficulty of biting into some kind of substance that has been passed off as a cookie and realizing how absolutely horrible it tastes, but not being able to show any signs of it? Read the full story

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