Tag Archive | "caliphate"

4 More Reasons Why YOU Should Join ISIS!


A lot of people were offended by the recent Ten Great Reasons to Join ISIS article by Kilroy.
I found myself at a bit of a loss to write an even edgier article.
However, help is at hand!
Notable Moderate Political Islamist Teddy Ramallah of Cowbridge University has asked me to forward this ISIS recruitment advert to you.
I’m all for tolerance and respecting the sincerely held beliefs of others; diversity is our greatest strength, and as we all share a common humanity, I’m going to respect Teddy Ramallah’s ideological and ethical diversity, just like you ought to respect mine.
We’re all in this together… so, here we go!

#1 License to Kill & Be Killed (Just Like James Bond!)

I mean, I know bitches look down on you and all them white-ass hos don’t give you no pussy. Why don’t you actually get a bit classy so those prissy kafffir girls are actually eating out of your jihadi-bride-whacking fistifcuffs?

#2 No Muh Peer Pressure to Read

I mean, who actually LIKES reading? A lot of jihadists are very intelligent anyway, like Imam Khomeini (peace and blessings of the Dean be upon him), who wrote an entire several-volume book about chicken-fucking and marrying kids. So dump that stupid jaheel college of yours and learn that you actually have something constructive to do in this world. I mean, I can already see you are a better fit here, than there!

 #3 ISIS are anti-imperialists

Iraq and Syria and other apostate countries were carved up from the fall of the Ottoman empire. If you oppose an empire, you are an anti-imperialist! By definition! I mean, how much simpler do I have to say it?

#4 ISIS are Radical Cosmopolitans with a Global Outlook

All we want to do is to abolish all those arbitrary national boundaries that divide and alienate and that capitalists are always taking advantage of in order to oppress and exploit the innocent.
Unlike the racists and nationalists of America, our only desire is to reunited the world and bring about one common humanity and one single global village in peace and universal brotherhood. How many liberal interventionist or neocon infidels have you ever heard saying that?!

***

#HASHTAG

#SORRYIFYOUWEREOFFENDED

#IMEANIHAVEJIHADIFRIENDS

#ONLYACOUPLEMIND

#WELLDEARMEPEOPLEREALLYARESOSENSITIVENOWADAYSARENTTHEY

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Posted in War Zone, World NewsComments (1)

Bono & Peter Gabriel Slam Wagner: ‘Don’t Separate the Man from the Music!’ (2/2)


Bono continues:

No. If someone is an artist, it has to come as a whole package. Please, please, please, I beg and implore on the utmost bended knees of my soul and the deepest quivering palms of my heart:

Don’t misguidedly and ignorantly logic-chop and be selective, and say ‘I like this bit but not that bit.’

Yes, how about we just all recognise in our minds and more crucially still, in our hearts and innermost tender marrow of our souls, the essential spiritual unity and cosmic oneness of creation and of every creative person?

I can say to you now and forever: Read the full story

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David Cameron Apologises for “Humanitarian Caliphate” Smear


David Cameron has been forced to make a humiliating climbdown, after incorrectly claiming that the Humanitarian Caliphate is an even better caliphate than the Daesh/IS/ISIS/ISIL/IKEA one.

Calm down dear; listen to what the Grand Physician says… sorry, I mean, “orders you to believe. ”

I only meant it in a flippant manner, not in a po-faced, dusty manner like the Kippers. My point was that we have a lot in common with ISIS, except we are even better. Read the full story

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