Posted on 28 March 2017.
Posted on 19 December 2014.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try again.”
Radical-Left-Wing-Ideologues™ Zizek/Beckett agree:
“Try again, fail again, fail better.”
FoxCon(n) FoxNews, I mean ACTUAL far-left-ideologues…
As distinguished from, say, Newt Gingrich/Ed Miliband/Pope Francis.
Still, Lefties-Gonna-Left, but Our Jeb… Read the full story
Posted on 08 November 2014.
It’s late fall and a sure sign of the season is the movement of various migratory birds in Washington and elsewhere. Recent sightings include:
Perhaps because of its name, the African American obama is often mistakenly thought to be native to Kenya. In fact, this White House-perched bird is from Chicago by way of Hawaii. Read the full story
Posted on 31 October 2014.
A recount has been demanded on the already scandalous Bush/Gore 2000 Presidential election by Democrats because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote.
Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Republican campaigners accidentally (or, perhaps intentionally as the Left insists) signed up the living dead.
Being dead, zombies, as with most dead, can not legally vote. Also it is difficult to distinguish many Republicans from the dead to begin with. Read the full story
Posted on 17 May 2014.
Announcer: With the federal highway system continuing to deteriorate, President Obama has been looking for new ways to raise money including collecting tolls on the Interstates. Administration tax specialist Mr. I.R. Esse will be discussing this with Dick and Janey, talk show hosts of “Yucky World”.
Janey: Welcome, Mr. Esse. Read the full story
Posted on 06 November 2012.
GlossyNews.com – In a surprise move, George W. Bush has endorsed Barack Obama in today’s election.
“I know you all must think I’ve been drunking crazy-water,” said Mr. Bush. “But the more I looked at that Barry fellows record, the more I realized that we have a lot in common. We both created trillion dollar deficits, both had to deal with ongoing wars [in Iraq and Afghanistan] and both had to spend a lot of time cleaning up bushes.” Read the full story
Posted on 12 July 2012.
President blames himself for underestimating extent to which his Republican predecessor managed to f*ck everything up.
WASHINGTON – In a conciliatory address to the nation today, President Obama apologized for the amount of time it has taken for him to dig America out of the incredibly deep sh*thole it was left in by the Bush administration. Read the full story
Posted on 16 May 2012.
Several suited men are pouring over papers scattered on a desk before them.
“So, it comes down to this: The Corporations are deciding on either Gingrich or Santorum to be the Republican representative for the Republican platform in the Presidential election.” stated the man in the gray suit.
“We’ll make sure that the other candidates fall by the wayside after the South Carolina Primary. Romney just won’t make a strong enough puppet for us to get our bills passed through Congress. If we are going to be the Marines for getting Corporate control of America then we are going to need a strong front man we can work through. Read the full story
Posted on 14 April 2012.
NORTH WISCONSIN —GlossyNews “America hasn’t been working,” Romney said at a recent political rally in north Wisconsin, “…and I believe it’s because they don’t have jobs. Wisconsin is like all the rest of the states. Where have all your jobs gone to, I ask you?”
He continued, “In my quest to become your president, I have been seeking Middle Class endorsements from deep within the nation’s Middle Class. Read the full story
Posted on 07 October 2011.
President-elect Obama today had lunch with four former Presidents- Bush 1 and 2, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter. George Bush Sr. from habit wiped his hands with a sanitized wipe after shaking Obama’s hand. All gave him bits of advice from their Presidential experience.
Mini-me Bush showed him the secret drawer on the desk where he could quickly stash his video game if guests arrived unexpectedly. Carter suggested that he not lust in his heart. Clinton suggested he not lust in his pants. Read the full story
Posted on 02 May 2011.
VARIOUSLY AROUND D.C. — GlossyNews.com Trump is really pissed — he felt that only 8 years of ‘Mission Accomplished’ was not long enough to have any impact. He said, “America needs a real someone to hate.
I thought I had 2012 sealed in a jar with the Birth Certificate issue but that was blown away when he made it public last week. Much to my displeasure, I had to take all the credit for that reveal. But we lost our one best universal hate. All we, as a country, had left to hate was bin Laden — now a dead bin Laden. What’s to hate there?” Read the full story
Posted on 21 February 2011.
An American dictator comes out in support of a buddy dictator which is an indication that there must be a strong social network of dictators that many don’t know about. Just like Hitler being bosom buddies with Mussolini, Franco and Stalin, this is proof that birds of a feather flock together. Read the full story
Posted on 21 December 2010.
Washington DC is filled with unelected bureaucrats who wield powerful influence behind the scenes, far away from cameras.
Glossy News sat down this week with one such powerful, unelected face, retiring Senate Marketing Liaison Bob Barnum. The garrulous, gregarious Barnum spoke at length on his career and shared predictions for the Senate’s future. Read the full story
Posted on 11 December 2010.
George Bush has told his wife Laura that there is no way he is going to accompany her to any ballet, let alone a ballet titled the Nutcracker.
“Is she nuts?” asked George, who added, “no pun intended, heh heh heh.”
It is common knowledge that Laura Bush and even George’s mother, Barbara Bush, has been trying every year to get George to attend the Nutcracker Ballet but to no avail. Read the full story
Posted on 01 October 2010.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, Florida (GlossyNews) — In a parallel universe to ours, one which resembles ours in every respect except times and situations are rearranged, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush find themselves back in Boston at the time of the Revolutionary War. In this parallel universe, personalities and characteristics remain the same, but the environment, the historical time and the circumstances have changed.
The two men meet on the street, glance around to make sure no one is looking, then sneak into an alley to talk secretly. Read the full story
Posted on 19 July 2010.
WASHINGTON, D.C (GlossyNews) — Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research.
Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body mass index of 25 or higher. A third are obese, having a body mass index of 30 or higher. Read the full story
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