BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall

Ottawa – Today, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau delivered a landmark speech to the combined chambers of the Canadian Parliament. He announced his plans to erect a 50-foot-tall wall along the entire length of the USA-Canadian border to keep them safe from the hordes of Americans fleeing the USA. Countless numbers are seeking asylum in Canada, widely considered the last remaining enclave of sanity north of Mexico.

Canadians were initially enraged when the Prime Minister’s address cut into an intermission of the Maple Leafs – Oilers game. Mr. Trudeau began his ten-minute speech in the traditional Canadian manner, by apologizing for interrupting TV coverage of the Zamboni re-surfacing the ice rink. Read more BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall

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Trump’s Government Shutdown: EXCLUSIVE Glossy News Expose of Previously Unknown Discussions!

Washington, DC- Previously censored footage has thrown some light on the recent shutdown decision, and on the deliberations made beforehand. 

First, the White House announced that President Donald Trump was unhappy about the latest Continued Resolution (CR), passed by Congress not long ago, which was to temporarily fund the government for an additional two months and avoid shutting down key agencies on Friday; but which also failed to provide funding for construction of a new wall at the southern border. Read more Trump’s Government Shutdown: EXCLUSIVE Glossy News Expose of Previously Unknown Discussions!

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Schumer-Ception: Senator Incepts Idea to Shut Down Government in the President

“I must not use these powers for the forces of evil,” Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) told aides after emerging from the Oval Office after a confrontational meeting with the President. He fist bumped the intern that told him to watch the movie Inception and turned to Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as the crowds of cameras rushed past them.

“I can’t believe I just got him to take responsibility for shutting down the government.”

The ploy has been weeks in development. Ever since stumbling into a conversation among his interns about the best movies in the past few years and learning about the plot of Inception, Senator Schumer has pondered the idea of trying it on President Trump.

Hailey Harris, one of the interns, recalled the conversation that started it all. Read more Schumer-Ception: Senator Incepts Idea to Shut Down Government in the President

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Mark Meadows Vows House Freedom Caucus Will Support Wall Funding

Senator Explains There Are “Other Options” To Sink This Bill (And All Others Like It)

Washington, DC- House Freedom Caucus(HFC) Chairman Mark Meadows (R-NC) told reporters that members of the HFC would not block President Trump’s request for an additional $5 Billion in funding to build a wall along the southern border, on Wednesday.
The support of the HFC comes on the heals of a televised showdown on Tuesday involving the President, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and Vice President Mike Pence, as the two apposing factions sat down to discuss compromiseThe House Freedom Caucus supports the Presidents request for full funding of a southern wall, in every way, shape or form… except with regards to an actual pledge of our votes. As conservatives, we are trained to look at any large scale government funding project with a degree of cynicism, but in the instance of keeping non-English speakers out of the country, I think we can imply that we’re willing to make an exception,” Meadows told reporters from the steps of Congress.

House Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows(R-NC) Pictured in his official congressional photo.

Read more Mark Meadows Vows House Freedom Caucus Will Support Wall Funding

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Trump Declares USMCA Funds Border Wall… Trudeau Disagrees

Buenos Aires, Argentina- On Friday, leaders from the United States, Mexico, and Canada formally endorsed the United States- Mexico- Canada Agreement (USMCA) before a packed house at the G-20 Summit.

On Monday, US President Donald Trump declared political victory via twitter.

“Just signed USMCA, the largest trade deal in the history of mankind. This deal is great for America, will create millions of jobs, and fully funds our Big Beautiful Wall. I told you Mexico would pay for it. #Promises Kept #MAGA #Big Beautiful Wall #USMCA”

In an interview with members of the Canadian press corps, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau disputed Trump’s claims, and made a few of his own.

Read more Trump Declares USMCA Funds Border Wall… Trudeau Disagrees

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Mexican President Elect Proposes Plan to Fund Border Wall

Mexico City, Mexico- Mexico’s President-elect, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, announced plans to fund construction of a border wall separating Mexico and the United States, in a joint press conference with CEOs from online job search websites Monster.com, Indeed.com, and Ziprecruiter.com, Friday morning.

“We are proud to announce that the United Mexican States, in partnership with our friends at Monster.com, Indeed.com, and Ziprecruiter.com, have finalized plans to construct a brand new wall spanning the length of our northern border, starting next year,” the President-elect told reporters from the steps of the capitol.  “We are excited to finalize this deal.  We believe this plan will provide a blue print for other nations with similar security concerns, moving forward.”

Read more Mexican President Elect Proposes Plan to Fund Border Wall

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