The Fear of Romantic Failure: & How to Rise Above It!

Many of us men, and many women also, struggle with the feeling we have nothing to offer others, and that we are not competitive at all in the marketplace of love and marriage.

I believe reframing things is helpful, so we can avoid biased and subjective views.

Subjective Views and Intersubjective Views

Let’s begin with the distinction between a subjective, immanent, closed-in view, and an outgoing, transcendent, intersubjective view.

For example, instead of being self-absorbed and asking ‘Do I have anything to offer a woman?’ or ‘Am I able to compete with other men?’ you can shift the focus outwards. What do SOME women want? Read more The Fear of Romantic Failure: & How to Rise Above It!


Homophobic Man Struggles with his Fear

Dateline: New York—Morris Jenkins suffers from a debilitating fear of homosexuals, commonly called homophobia. When in the presence of gay people, he ceases to function.

“I remember the first time the terror struck me,” he said. “I was at work on my computer, sitting in my cubicle, and a co-worker told me he’s gay. My lower lip quivered, I screamed like I was looking into the face of Death, and I fell back away from him, landing on the floor and kicking my chair into the computer, shattering the screen.

“I turned over on my stomach and began clawing my way out of the cubicle, cutting my hands on the pieces glass, gasping for breath, and crying for help. My heart was hammering in my chest. The terrifying coworker tried to help me up and I shrieked and twisted my arm as I violently spun to avoid contact. I crab-walked out of the cubicle and ran to the opposite end of the office, clutching the wall behind me, sweating buckets and trying to catch my breath.
Read more Homophobic Man Struggles with his Fear