Angus T. Jones Proves Sheen Wasn’t the Real Crazy

Erstwhile chubster and modern day mini-hunk Angus T. Jones, best known as the child Charlie Sheen molested on Two and a Half Men made waves this week when he turned on his handlers and devoured whole his own career.

The child actor best known for playing third-fiddle behind Jon Cryer spoke out at a christian event, decrying the show that pays him $350,000 per 22-minutes of production as evil, demonic and “truly Sheenish”.

The semi-grown-up man-child was speaking to what he believed to be a vacuum of like-minded Christian conservatives, seemingly unaware that microphones pick up sound, and that said recordings can then be posted to the internet for the world to see.

“I think he was just trying to prove that Charlie [Sheen] wasn’t the crazy one,” said Gerry Tall, an elderly viewer in Ames, Iowa. “Or maybe [Sheen] rubbed off some of that crazy sauce on him, I don’t know.”

The producers of Two and a Half Men have reportedly not fired young master Jones, but it is believed they did “take him to the woodshed” properly, as is customary in such cases.

Drugs are not believed to be a factor in the situation, to the surprise of almost everyone. I mean, I know Sheen was holding.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

1 thought on “Angus T. Jones Proves Sheen Wasn’t the Real Crazy

  1. He has since recanted his damnation of Two and a Half men… yeah, $350,000 per episode? Don't screw this up, kid, you don't exactly have any other prospects in entertainment.

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