Tag Archive | "Alzheimer’s"

Government Chemtrail Program Deemed a Success


US Government officials declared today that their government sponsored Chemtrail program, which is designed to make people more submissive to government authority, is a total success.

“People are more submissive now than at any time in history”, proudly declared US Defense Secretary Ashton Carter. “Voter turnout is down to 38%, fewer people are signing petitions or staging demonstrations and apathy reigns throughout the country! Our Chemtrail program has been a resounding success!”

Carter stated that the chemtrails contain aluminum nanoparticles and other chemicals that interact with the human brain causing people to be more submissive, more apathetic and generate an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. This will be helpful to military authorities when martial law is declared.

“On the downside we are seeing more people with Alzheimer’s, cognitive dysfunction, Parkinson’s, ALS and other diseases. But for the sake of a free and happy America it’s worth it!” Carter stated.

Carter stated that Operation Jade Helm 15 is being carried out in Texas and other states to little resistance. Jade Helm 15 is the largest domestic military training “exercise” in United States history.

Joint Chief of Staff Chairman General Martin Dempsey praised the program. “Back in the 60s we had people smoking dope, having sex and protesting the war in Vietnam. With the chemtrail program we see none of that. We can carry out our formerly covert activities in the open and nobody gives a shit!”

Most people interviewed seemed to care little about the chemtrail program. “Yeah, no big whoop”, said NYC stockbroker Josh Carbonetti.

“I got better things to worry about”, said Brooklyn physics professor Peter Gruber.

“Does my hair look okay?” asked LA consultant Sheila Weinberg.

There is much more to this story but I have lost interest in writing any more.

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Posted in PoliticsComments (1)

Seth Rogan Testifies Before Congress About Seth Rogan


In a six minute address before a Senate Hearing on Alzheimer’s research funding that has gone viral on the Internet, comedian and actor Seth Rogan was successful at focusing discussion on the lack of knowledge and attention paid to Seth Rogan.

Rogan, who holds fundraisers for the Alzheimer’s Association, which took in 240 million last year but curiously spent only 14 on research grants, skillfully maneuvered the discussion away from the lack of Alzheimer’s research funding by Government and the Alzheimer’s Association and onto why members of Congress have not seen his movie “Knocked Up”. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, PoliticsComments (7)

Report: Actual Benefits to Alzheimer’s Disease (Comic)


There is nothing funny about Alzheimer’s Disease. Those afflicted suffer terribly. But this guy, shown here to the right, might have found a bit of an upside loophole to endure the affliction with a tad greater ease.

(Click on the image to see it full-size.)

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Posted in Comics, HealthComments (0)

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