Former rugby legend Bucky Guinstella has begun his long march out of the sporting wilderness, and has embarked upon a new literary career as a Twitter troll.
However, the joke seems to be on him, and he is not having much success.
Maybe he’s just an unrecognised genius?
Well, time will tell.
Stella’s drunken tweets seem to have scared off a few pigeons; not to mention a few pilkunnussija types!
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pilkunnussija
Oh, and Simon Heffer as well:
https://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/books/strictly-english-the-correct-way-to-writeand-why-it-matters/414141.article
But speaking of achingly edgy language usage, check this notorious hat-trick of fluffed shots:
I literly cant undastrnd why Hari Rednapd doesn’t rite proper like #me.
No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that #in an mis-ABLEIST way, some #of #my best friends have dislexia! ##LOLZJKZ# #IamWELLfunnyMAYTE##
No I #mean, its #not yu, #it’s just all #the other sponging DLAaA-grubbing dislexxick tihpes I can’t stand. #EdgyPomoIronie## #HumourCumsFrommADarkPlaceInnit####
Retweets from Ryan Babel, Carlton Cole, Wayne Rooney and Rio Ferdinand didn’t help the lifelong-trophyless Guinstella’s cause.
Still, Harry Redknapp was thirsting to just crush Guinstella into a stinky heap of discredited little sub-plonkish scrap metal, and piss him the hell out for his jock-ridden rugger-lad’s bigotry.
At this, the poor, beleaguered, full-time thwarted rugby icon and part-time stoner Bucky Guinstella dug deeper and moaned…
Bloody hel, watscz awll #the fuss about foutball anyway? I mean, it’s just #a heep #of #nobbly-need men in #shorts running around chasing #a baull. There’s just no valyooe #in that, initt!!!
The resulting hilarity at Stella’s artless lack of self-irony was so horrific, Guinstella has now finally crawled back under his ramshackle cider-bridge. A true genius thwarted before his time.
So, yet again, Harry Redknapp had the last laugh over the people who envied his success. He has got several trophies from a long and prosperous career; while all Bucky Guinstella ever got was a funny celebrity campaign selfie with Peter Gabriel on the safer side of the Korean border.
But on the plus side, this does mean that Phil Collins has never been allowed anywhere near South Korea.
I mean, hell, the last time he tried to perform there, Pyongyang were so tear-stricken by his hostile reception, they had to offer him asylum up north instead!
Bucky Guinstella doesn’t mind though, and decided to have a bit of craic, um, crack, and tweet this:
HA #HA LOL JKz## mate, styupid iliterit Koreeans, mate!
Redknapp, by this point, was beyond caring.
Well! If Twitter trolls want to make fun of someone’s dyslexia, then they’ve got little to criticise people about. When they’ve finally got a few trophies under their belt, then they can start criticising the pros! Until then, I think we all know who the real amateurs and failures are. 😉