NEW YORK, NY. GlossyNews.com – Rep. Anthony Weiner has aroused more suspicion today by neither confirming nor denying that the crotch in question is his, and reiterated his opinion that the incident is, “a distraction, and nothing more than a silly prank by someone who probably goes by a name like Willy or Wang.”
The lewd photo, which was originally posted on the pecker sharing site yhorntoad.com, was sent via Mr. Weiner’s Twitter feed to a female 21 year old college student in Bellingham, WA.
With the groin scandal now threatening his political future, the cocksure congressman has retained attorney John Thomas to review his legal options and, according to sources close to the case, will use the well known fact that Mr. Weiner wears boxers not briefs as a defense.
Veteran prosecutors have pointed out, however, that this defense tactic may be hard to swallow as the penis does in fact lean to the left, which may indicate guilt regardless of underwear type.
To prop up his case, Mr. Weiner has also hired a private dick to probe into the alleged hack to determine if it was the two nuts who live downstairs or his asshole neighbor who were involved in the hoax. The FBI is also investigating the matter, saying they have a list of suspected pricks they’re reviewing for comparison.
Meanwhile, republican members of congress, who are decrying a media double-standard when it comes to democratic sex scandals, are looking into whether or not erection fraud has been committed.
Supporters say he’s being given the shaft and, quite frankly, just wish the whole sordid affair would blow over so that they can move on to more important matters like, asking why a forty-something married congressman would follow a young college student who claims they’ve never met.
It’s hard questions like these that’ll determine whether or not Mr. Weiner stays in office or hands the job off to some other jerk.