NAACP Resents NCAA Confusion

In a public statement issued Thursday the Washington DC chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People formally renounced any mistaken identity associated with the National College Athletics Association, despite their many similarities.

Earlier this month Reuters mistakenly credited the news release of U Conn’s victory to an NAACP spokesperson, likewise reporters flooded the NCAA offices last month for comments on racial remarks made by an Ohio congressman.

“The ignorance needs to end,” said Leroy Blackman on behalf of the NAACP. “Just because a brother can dominate the key, pass for 600 yards [during his] freshman year or hit .400 in college ball doesn’t mean we’re the same people.”

A spokesman for the NCAA indicated he was unaware of the difference between the two groups and asked when the NAACP split off on it’s own. “Well, we’re sad to see them go but we always knew we’d have to start favoring the Latinos eventually.”

Man on the street interviews concluded equal confusion. Kevin Waters from Rhode Island passionately told Glossy News that he “knows the difference, of course. The NAACP could take the title today even with the injuries, and by summer after they finish up the trades they’ve got going it’s all the way to the championship, baby!”

While both groups have similar sounding names the biggest confusion has been with their respective mission statements. The NCAA’s says “for the equal opportunity for advancement of all people using the skills and gifts they’ve developed.” The NAACP’s is eerily similar including “equal opportunity for playa’s to sink three pointers from the outside and land endorsements deals even before they go pro, plus getting to hit it with hot co-eds after home games, because the ladies love chocolate.”

The only notable difference according to Vegas odds makers is that the “white friends” who’ve done the most for the NCAA has been coaches, whereas the white’s who’ve done the most for the success of the NAACP have been Michael Jackson, Bryant Gumble and a handful of albino Senators, mostly from Louisiana.

Key starters could not be reached at the NAACP for comment due to the nearing of the trading deadline but we have been assured that authorities will just go out there and do their best, work as a team and keep their heads in the game and their eyes on the playoffs.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.