Indiana Fails to Make Top 50 ‘Most Interesting States In the Union’

INDIANAPOLIS – Following a year-long study by the United States Census Bureau, the state of Indiana found itself just missing out on a top fifty position in a list of the most interesting states in the union Saturday.

Despite having hosted the Superbowl earlier this year, the Hoosier State – which boasts hundreds of miles of eye-catching cornfields in any direction, as well as approximately 1,200 dilapidated barn-houses statewide – placed 51st.

Though there are only 50 recognized states comprising the United States of America, it is believed that data monitors may have included statistics from outside American borders, with researchers insisting that “just looking at the figures on Indiana made us want to slit our wrists.”

“If I’m honest, we just sort of left Indiana off the list,” said researcher John Grimshaw. “The thought of compiling data on wind turbines and town-by-town water towers was so overwhelmingly depressing that we just pretended to make Puerto Rico a state.”

Responding to the findings this afternoon, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels vowed to increase the state’s overall attractiveness by “possibly funding one or two more casinos in Madison County.”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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