Justifiable Justice – Making the Punishment Ergonomic with the Crime

Punishments for crime have become rote in our modern society.

A person can murder any number of people and still be allowed to live his life out even though he is less that worthless to the society which allows him to survive.

Monsters on the international level can create atrocities for which they are not condemned.

Irresponsible pundits appear on the world stage who wreck havoc with in their own lands and yet are able to convince their fellow citizens that they are heroes.

It is time they paid the true price for their actions. It is time that their karma comes back to them in the full force in which they created it like a boomerang returning to its owner.

Here are some examples of what would be true Justifiable Justice for some of the miscreants in our world:

Tsarnaev (the surviving Boston Marathon Bomber)- To have to run the entire Marathon length in under the record time of 2 hours and 3 minutes other wise a bomb strapped to his back will explode if he is over two seconds above that record.

Jihadi John (the British ISIS convert who takes such great delight in making videos of himself beheading innocent hostages) – He would have to recite 100% correctly Koran sura 631 entitled ‘The Hypocrites’ concerning Moslems who act in Allah’s name doing evil deeds. Attached to his neck will be a larger model of the devise they use for decapitating chickens that is voice activated and set to function if he makes a mistake in the recitation.

Rush Limbaugh- Have him strapped down to a gurney and have his own gaseous radio show played non-stop 24/7 into his ears through headphones at loud decibels until insanity sets in.

Kim Jong Un- Have the super runt President of North Korea kidnapped (as he has done with many South Korean and Japanese citizens), secreted to the South Korean side of the border, dressed in a South Korean military uniform, pushed into the Demilitarized Zone between the two countries and forced to run the gauntlet between the two. We will see how long he survives.

The Ukrainian rebel guy who shot down the Malaysian airliner flying over Ukrainian territory- Have him strapped into an over-sized catapult for Ukrainian Army skeet shooting practice. Put a parachute on him in case the first few shootings miss him so that he can be‘re-pulled’.

Mitch McConnell- Give him skin pigmentation injects over a period of time, a sex change, an artificial womb and let him see what it is like being a pregnant black woman in the South firsthand.

Donald Trump- Since he thinks he would make such a super President let him go ahead and be the Head Honcho for a few weeks so he can see what it is really like. Then he can crawl out of the White House and back to his Trump Towers with his tail between his legs. His pretty red hair will probably turn a silver grey faster than Obama’s did.

Vladimir Putin- Since he likes to run around without his shirt on, strip him to his briefs and ship him out to one of those abandoned Siberian gulag labor camps in winter. Make sure it is one that is at least 100 miles from the nearest town that has food and shelter…..and clothes.

Luka Magnotta, the Canadian porn star who filmed himself torturing, killing, and dismembering his Chinese boyfriend, then mailing the body parts to various Canadian governmental agencies- Hang him up on a KFC poultry assembly line. If we can do that to chickens then we can do it to him.

Dick Cheney- Weld him into a Darth Vader outfit and adjust the voice control so that he sounds like Mickey Mouse the rest of his life.

Osama bin Laden- Dig up that S.O.B. and shoot him again just to make sure he is really dead.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at http://inyear252509.wordpress.com/

5 thoughts on “Justifiable Justice – Making the Punishment Ergonomic with the Crime

  1. The global village is watching me? Well, hell, I’ll hire an exhibitionist hooker and make the most of that!

  2. We’re Dick n John, and we disapprove of Kilroy’s rabble-rousing and UnDick-ican rhetoric.

    Wouldn’t it be a terrible thing if Kilroy was going home one evening, and someone pissed on his head from (say, let’s speculate to accumulate here), about 17 floors up, or thereabouts?

    Just remember, Glossynews, there are consequences for people who don’t keep their “carey”-less tongues “chen”-ed up.

    By the way, don’t be trying to find out the IP address of this comment. That shitty Euroweenie satire hack, “Mr Teleology Misunderstander,” has nothing to do with us. That’s our propaganda line, and we’re sticking with it.

    Just remember, Kilroy… THE GLOBAL VILLAGE IS WATCHING YOU™

  3. Well, there is a difference between being Oedipally frustrated and Nomadically erratic. It’s all Deleuze and Guattari, ya know.

    Still, infallible and uber-scientific po-mo authorities aside, maybe we should give Rush Limbaugh one of those “pity-passes” Fox are always complaining about.

    After all, like so many of his Fox colleagues, he has been “trained for many years to hate America” (or at least to disdain some of America more than others); because:

    “Fox is just a bunch of radio commentators organized around a political proposition;” and because “there are more acres of new-reading idiocy today even than when CNN set up its monopoly 500 years ago.”

    Well OK, quote-mining and fancy editing is unethical, but I’m wearing my standard-issue straight-vanilla media ethics hat today 😉

  4. I hate Dicks and I know some of these punishments wouldn’t work, rfreed.

    First of all how do you drive an insane man insane? Scratch Limbaugh’s circle of Hell.

    As for Cheney, that might work: the Mickey Mouse voice would piss him off, but the Vader mask hiding his signature scowl would drive him crazy enough to invade Syria before he realized there’s nothing there he really wants. But, he’s already crazy…so it’s a wash.

    As for Osama, dig him up and let Cos make him a drink and give him a pudding pop.

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