Sarah Palin Proudly Earns GED — And Real, Not Honorary

Sandpoint, ID (GlossyNews) — Sarah Palin may not be smarter than an inner-city or deep-south fifth grader, but on Friday, she’ll earned something few 5th graders have — a high school diploma; well, a high school equivalency certificate, at any rate.

After months of intensive study at a secret compound in Idaho, former gubernatorial quitter Palin has successfully completed the requirements for her GED, including the “trying” written test. Her success comes well ahead of the 1 -year deadline she backdated for herself in hindsight.

After getting her results, Palin reportedly tweeted, for fun: “I aint dum no moor”, with a bunch of SICs we obviously must attach.

Palin’s staff revealed today that the real reason that she quit the governor’s job in Alaska was to finish her GED before the 2012 Presidential Elections. Palin had these comments on her milestone;

“People can call me dumb, but they can’t say I’m not educated. Now, I not only know where Russia is, I can find it on a map.” The reporters in the room smirked quietly to one another, which was only further evidence of their left-wing liberal media bias.

She went on to say, “Our forefathers knowed how important education was … is … that is one of the reasons we can keep and bear arms. And, I attest to striving to having completing what others may assume comes only once to this great American country of ours! God bless America, and our troops, and it’s all about jobs because that’s really what our great country is about.”

Palin left the podium without answering any questions or qualifying any of her comments.

Many Palin advocates suggest that, especially in light of her recent accomplishment, she may soon even be able to read her own book.

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....