The Freedom Under a Christian Ruled Society (FUCRS) today announced their outright disgust at bible translations with a blatantly liberal agenda and plans to have the Good Book translated from the New Living Translation to one that meets their political needs, according to a press release.
Artie Ful, spokesperson for FUCRS, explained in an interview that some good Christian men and women have been feeling singled out and persecuted.
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“Obviously, this means the translations have been co-opted by Muslim extremists. It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain the historical narrative has been tampered with.” When pressed for evidence Mr. Ful cited the feeding of the multitude.
“I mean come on now. Who believes that socialist bull? I mean what we have here is a Jew who’s giving stuff away? And King of the Jews at that. No, I don’t think so. What most people don’t understand and the main stream media is afraid to report is He had to have made a tidy profit selling loaves of bread, fish, and Kool-Aid.”
A reporter for the Wine Spectator asked for clarification as it was his understanding it was wine the Savior favored. “We know the Savior didn’t deal with wine. Just the wine alone is an obvious indication of California liberal ideals being snuck into scripture. Nope we all drink Kool-Aid around here.”
When asked when it was due out, Mr. Ful was noncommittal as he wasn’t sure how long it’d take to read it and translate the Good Book as he’d actually never read the Bible, except for Genesis and Revelations and not even those sections all the way through, but thought if he could get his kids to do it as part of a home school project for sometime next summer.
Thanks, FUCRS, we’ll be looking for it.