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Conservative Group Angered over Leftish Bias of Bible Translations

Conservative Group Angered over Leftish Bias of Bible Translations

The Freedom Under a Christian Ruled Society (FUCRS) today announced their outright disgust at bible translations with a blatantly liberal agenda and plans to have the Good Book translated from the New Living Translation to one that meets their political needs, according to a press release.

Artie Ful, spokesperson for FUCRS, explained in an interview that some good Christian men and women have been feeling singled out and persecuted.

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“Obviously, this means the translations have been co-opted by Muslim extremists. It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain the historical narrative has been tampered with.” When pressed for evidence Mr. Ful cited the feeding of the multitude.

“I mean come on now. Who believes that socialist bull? I mean what we have here is a Jew who’s giving stuff away? And King of the Jews at that. No, I don’t think so. What most people don’t understand and the main stream media is afraid to report is He had to have made a tidy profit selling loaves of bread, fish, and Kool-Aid.”

A reporter for the Wine Spectator asked for clarification as it was his understanding it was wine the Savior favored. “We know the Savior didn’t deal with wine. Just the wine alone is an obvious indication of California liberal ideals being snuck into scripture. Nope we all drink Kool-Aid around here.”

When asked when it was due out, Mr. Ful was noncommittal as he wasn’t sure how long it’d take to read it and translate the Good Book as he’d actually never read the Bible, except for Genesis and Revelations and not even those sections all the way through, but thought if he could get his kids to do it as part of a home school project for sometime next summer.

Thanks, FUCRS, we’ll be looking for it.


This post was written by

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Jerry D. Mathes II is a Jack Kent Cooke Scholar alumnus. He is the author of The Journal West: Poems, an essay collection, Fever and Guts: A Symphony, and a memoir, Ahead of the Flaming Front: A Life on Fire, about his experiences fighting wildfire. He has received Special Mention for Fiction in The Pushcart Prize XXXI, XXXIV and XXXV along with several other nominations, had an essay listed as notable in Best American Essays, a story listed as notable in Best of the West, as well as other awards. He loves his two daughters very much.


2 Responses to “Conservative Group Angered over Leftish Bias of Bible Translations”

  1. rfreed says:

    Class A article Mr. jd.
    I just pray it isn’t based on any real organization.

  2. Adam Garbles says:

    How else can the Bible be interpreted but as a leftist handbook? Jesus HATED the wealthy, but don’t you dare tell that to the Evangelicals.


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