INDIANAPOLIS – The senate campaign of Indiana’s leading Republican candidate, Richard Mourdock, is reportedly in disarray Tuesday after the Almighty Father in Heaven identified himself as pro-choice.
God’s stance on the issue of abortion comes as a particular blow to Mr. Mourdock, who insisted during Tuesday’s senatorial debate that “rape pregnancies are God’s will”.
However, The Lord was moved to clarify his position in light of Mourdock’s remarks Tuesday night, taking the opportunity to rebuke the would-be senator.
“I just could not stand back any longer and let one of My own lowly creations make yet another bold and unfounded claim about Me,” said God, in a short address to the people of Indiana. “Let me say this as clearly as I can: I have never used my divine powers to engineer rape. Period.”
“How would Richard Mourdock like it if I started making baseless claims about him? I could spread the word that Mourdock cheats on his wife Marilyn with a staffer named Brian, or that he privately masturbates during campaign meetings.”
The Mourdock campaign has yet to comment on God’s stunning revelation, which comes just months after the lord was forced to deny telling Indiana man Wayne Calzone to shoot his wife and two sons.
What have we come to?
Don’t know how else to put this, but, come on people! This is satire. It’s poking fun at the morally bankrupt Murdock. It’s NOT in support of him, it points out what a monumental jackass he is… read the whole thing before you send your hate mail, I beg of you.
@ Hazel… why do we need Obama out?… Why don’t you like Mitt? How did he get embarrassed ? Oh cause he plugged a person that basically said a woman has no say in her body, that what ever happens, because of the rape , she should praise god for her Rapist child perhaps?…
ALL gods were invented by a few men to control people especially women and to separate you from your money. They were also created to control people’s sex lives. Government and imaginary beings do not mix. If you want to worship one of the hundreds of man made gods then you are free to do that in your home.
Rape is a crime committed by men NOT by an imaginary being.
There are no gods. This is the ONLY life you will have so, as Santa says, “Be good for good sake”.
I suppose that Murdoch never considered the fact that the Devil has a plan too. Rape is an evil, vicious act that intentionally harms an innocent woman. That is the Devil’s work – not an act of God. I would certainly NEVER vote for someone who believes that God would plan such evil. A victim has the right to handle the many consequences of such an evil act without interference from a self-righteous fool of a fanatic such as Murdoch.
I think after your remark about abortion that you should withdraw from the election. Narrow minded bigots do not have a place in politics. You have embrassed Mitt Romney. We need Obama out of office. You have made Mitt’s run more difficult. I’m not happy about voting for Mitt in the first place but my options are slim.
I can write in Mickey Mouse or someone for real. When a man has can be the victim of rape and carry and support the baby, then he will have a vote. Meanwhile he should keep his mouth closed. I don’t know about your God but my God is not a mean spiteful God. I like my God better.
Debbie Barnes,
The sad thing is that it is theoretically possible that you are an actual woman who agrees with Morondoch and if it is, you need to try out God’s plan to become pregnant and suffer bearing the child of someone who just violently abused you to the core. That god with such a plan can only be yours. I only wish such a god also only inflicted such things also selectively on people like you who seek such blessings.
Taking what was said out of context is happening much too often, and is much too tolerated by the American people. Listen to the entire discussion that was involved with Mr. Murdoch, and it is very apparent, he is talking about the miracle of life, and not the judgement of God. Can God turn something horrific into something that is a blessing? Of course He can, and he does. Just ask any human being who was a result of a rape. I can assure you that they would agree. I really wish people would stop pushing their agenda by twisting the truth, or giving half truths. There is one word for it….disqusting.
So in Mr. Murdoch’s world rape is not a crime? Woman are just mindless, unintelligent creatures, holes to be plugged? Women have no say, no rights, about what happens to our own bodies. How male PIG of you! Did someone forget to tell you that there is a God and you are NOT him. Did they also tell you that nothing negative comes from God including rape, which by the way is a crime in this country, or maybe not a crime in your state. You could save a bundle by just turning all the poor little rapists in your state out on the street and you can personally raise all their spawn. Sounds like you should be running for office in Iran, you think much more like they do than Americans.