Categorized | Human Interest

Start the Day with Whiskey! (A Witty Ode to Man’s Best & Only Friend)

Start the Day with Whiskey! (A Witty Ode to Man’s Best & Only Friend)

Like not a few men, I have a faithful love that I have never once betrayed; and I know that, for her part, she shall never leave my side.


Start the day with whiskey!

My one, my truest friend

The Queen of all great paramours

The love that never ends!


Admire her every facet

She pours down milk and wine

Embrace her rosy lips

And lithesome, murmur ‘Thou art mine!’


Whiskey is your truest love

She’s always there at need

She never fails to ease your pain

A friend at dawn, a friend indeed!


Be it noisome morning glories

Or fears about your labour

Whiskey has sworn by her own great name

To always be there t’ savour


There is no torment, trial or fear

Your love cannot dispel

Eh bien! Après moi la deluge!…

Today must be our heaven

Let tomorrow take heed of hell!

Image attribution:

By (Zelfgemaakt) [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or CC BY-SA 2.5-2.0-1.0], via Wikimedia Commons


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Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


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