Categorized | Human Interest

Poor Can No Longer Protect Rich From Harsh Realities Of Life

Poor Can No Longer Protect Rich From Harsh Realities Of Life

Tragedy has hit the upper levels of our society today as the economic crisis has caused many of the rich to lose their cushion of poor people that have previously protected them from having to experience the basics of life. Many of the rich now have to polish their own silverware, trim their own gardens, do their own sewing due to their staff having starved to death or not having the money or transportation to even get to work.

“Ever since our maid started living in a car that doesn’t run, our place has gotten so dirty!” stated Ima Bittcher, female heir to a paper clip dynasty. “How can we ever have parties with the place looking like this?”

“Our Latino gardeners have found it more lucrative to go back to Mexico and smuggle for the drug cartels than to be here and prune our hydrangeas,” sniffed Momma Warbucks, heir to a supplier of land mine parts. “How can I ever have guests over when the 50 acres we have looks so, so …woodsy? On the positive side, however, we get a great deal on our marijuana now.””

Financiers have also felt squeezed as many small investors whose money they used to use to pad themselves with against big loses no longer have access to the Internet or to phones due to being homeless. “When the big drop of the ’90’s happened I barely felt it because we passed all the trouble on to the little guys. Now they are all gone and I’m getting eaten alive!” complained Pen E. Savd. “How can I make any money when there aren’t any schmucks to fall back on?”

Wall Street analysts have now come to recognize the small investors as being an important part of preserving the continued riches and well being of their wealth and status. “We now know through bitter experience that it is the small people who have invested their meager savings and are unable to react quickly enough to market changes by moving their money fast enough who save us from taking the severe economic blows,” stated Max Profits of the Berkshires Institute For Saving Our Financial Skins, “The small investor takes the hit and keeps us intact. You might call them the ‘cannon fodder’ of economic warfare.”

In some gated communities and wealthy neighborhoods rich people are stockpiling and freezing dead poor people who have died from starvation or exposure to the elements in case the situation severely worsens and there is a food crisis. “I hear they make good jerky”, said Sam N. Bread, owner of a national chain of upscale delis with the slogan, “If you need to ask the price, get the hell out!”

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- who has written 548 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at http://inyear252509.wordpress.com/

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