Vet Receptionist Loses Mind Upon Hearing Millionth Cutesy Pet Story

West Palm Beach, FL (GlossyNews) — Last Tuesday, Ida Roloff clutched her little “Poopsky,” and stood in front of the desk of busy veterinarian receptionist, Diane Wormer, known affectionately by her friends as “Dee.“ As they waited for the vet assistant to run to the back and find a file, Roloff begin reiterating every minute of her morning with her darling little dog in a loud voice that everyone in the crowded waiting room could plainly hear.

As she thoughtlessly glided by the “tee-tee” and the “cutest face you ever saw” part and full into a description of the perfect “poo-poo he made this morning,” the cold dead eyes of Mrs. Wormer, who has sat patiently for 27 years listening to the same cutesy pet stories from 999,999 customers while her lunch hour and break times ticked away, slowly began to roll back in her head. Then suddenly, her throat swelled, and she begin to foam profusely at the mouth. All this while grabbing a letter opener to try and stab herself in the hand.

This sent the overweight resident cat jumping from the modular reception desk and running for cover, which scattered paperwork everywhere and sent a jar of dog treats crashing to the floor. Predictably, all 17 dogs in the waiting room began reacting, sending 11 cats, 3 lizards, 2 guinea pigs and at least one goldfish into a state of panic.

The file-grabbing assistant, who was in the back gossiping with her co-workers because Wormer, “had a handle on the situation up front,” ran from the back without the file and attempted to get things under control as Mrs. Wormer descended into a full blown psychotic episode.

Dr. Garkle, who was busy “fixing“ a lab mix, tied up things long enough to come and see what was going on, and was horrified to see his perfect receptionist in the throes of insanity. “Grab the Ketamine!“ screamed the Doctor. “Stat!” After a healthy dose of Ketamine, or “Special K,” as the tranquilizer is known around the office, Mrs. Wormer relaxed. She soon found her way into the “Ketamine keyhole” and was sent home to rest.

By Thursday, a new receptionist, young and pretty Mary Kenelcoff, was busy answering the phone and performing triage on incoming patients. Outside of being perky, the only other qualification required of Miss Kenelcoff in the new job was to really enjoy working with people. And just then, in walks Ida Roloff with Poopsky for a follow-up appointment.

Author: TawdrySoup.Com

I am a satire writer from the middle of nowhere. My work appears all over the internet. Please visit my website www.tawdrysoup.com where we give away millions of dollars every day! CHEERS!

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