The fat community are so badly oppressed nowadays, but I think you can agree we have definitely all taken some huge, robust strides towards real acceptance and celebration of the fat identity. Every single sickening, pummelling, earth-shattering blow we have landed on the mainstream oppressive society today has gone down like ten tons of enriched plutonium! So it’s in this very spirit of fighting hard against oppression, exclusion and intolerance, that me and my boys want to start an Alcohol Positive movement to complete the picture! Here are some of our key premises:
1. Hepatic diversity
There is no one right way for your liver to be. ALL livers are perfectly legitimate, complete and valid, and need to be celebrated, instead of taking a more essentialist and exclusionary approach.
2. Tolerance and inclusion
Stop judging other people by their drinking choices. Everyone has their own way.
3. Pro Choice
I have a right to do whatever I want to do with my own body. Butt out, Nazis!
4. Critical Science
You can be a pisshead and be perfectly healthy. Anyone who says otherwise is an oppressor who doesn’t know jack! Stop speaking from a position of privilege!
5. Anti-Elitist
Who cares what doctors and scientists think; mainstream science is a patriarchal neoliberal ableist non-furry-normative conspiracy!
Perfect satire. The Fat positivity movement is dead, and good riddance.