Autism diagnoses started to soar in the 1990s and those new cases are now adults in their early twenties. Society and the media have noted the need for employers to hire those on the spectrum. This has lead to major media outlets such as the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times publishing articles on how autism is an advantage in the workplace and how it can land you a job. Here’s the New York times article extolling that Danish Godsend Specialisterne. Here’s the Wall Street Journal piece about how easily autism can land you a job. These articles are intriguing, as they make one ponder why in spite of this alleged advantage we have reported unemployment rates for autistics at 80% or higher.
Freud said that love and work are the cornerstones of our humanity. Finding a significant other more often than not has been a formidable hurdle for many on the spectrum. One has to wonder why major publications such as the WSJ and the New York times won’t address the problems autistics have with that other cornerstone, l’amour.
Since the major media outlets won’t write about this issue, I guess it’s up to your humble blogger with his piddling little blog hardly anyone wants to read. So, you’re going to hear it right now. Autism is an asset and an advantage with women and autism can land you a hot girlfriend!
Autistics have great attention to details since they’ve done so well on the embedded figures tests and have done such a great job in detecting patterns in Simon Baron-Cohen’s experiments. They will notice how nice a woman’s dress is and be willing to compliment her on it. They will notice redeeming physical features of a woman that neurotypical men won’t even see and will be able to shower her with compliments that neurotypical men can’t.
Though autistics rarely have children, autism itself continues to increase at huge rates, having a mere prevalence of 1 in 2500 in the 1960s to the rates of 1 in 68 we see today. The reason for this must be because autism has an evolutionary advantage due to our superior genes. If women mate with us instead of neurotypical men, we’ll be able to give them superior offspring. Hell, ladies, your child with us might become the next Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, or Thomas Jefferson. Since the exact genetic transmission of autistic traits is obscure, your children with us may have all of the advantages of autism and none of the disadvantages.
Temple Grandin has stated that at least half of the silicon valley has autism, and that we’ve come up with every invention from the spear to the cellphone. That means that your potential suitor may be the next billionaire. He’ll be able to ensure you live a life of ease and buy you a villa on the French Riviera.
Autistics also have sensory issues. This means that the man will be more sensitive and attentive to the woman’s needs.
Autistics are also overly loyal as has been reported in the media. That along with prejudice against us from women who aren’t aware of all of our advantages means there’s a much lower (if not zero) probability that we’ll commit adultery if you marry us. Though there have been reports that divorces are higher among parents of autistic children than in the general population, this means your marriage will be more stable; and there won’t be the problems of divorce that make neurotypical marriages a coin flip chance. This is aside from the fact that Michael John Carley is divorced and remarried, and John Elder Robison has been twice divorced and is now on his third (and hopefully final) marriage. Of course these are high functioning outliers, so most of us will be stable, and there likely won’t be a problem of divorce.
Chances are most women won’t land a neurotypical billionaire. One problem with one of these men is that they’d insist the woman sign a prenup if they were to marry them. Due to the autistic billionaire’s poor social judgment problems, they won’t know any better than to insist their wife sign a prenup and in the unlikely event the marriage ends in divorce, the money will be community property in most states and the newly single woman will land a few billion smackers after a quickie divorce in Reno. These social skills aren’t deficient; they’re merely different and they aren’t a disadvantage, they confer an actual advantage on those who are autistic.
Autistic men also have loud voices. This means that if they’re trying to hail a cab in New York City or trying to get the attention of a waiter in a busy restaurant, this will be a huge advantage on dates.
And what about situations in which these different social skills can be a disadvantage? After all, an autistic person might be more argumentative with their girlfriend and start shouting at them. They might be embarrassed to take them to a party their neurotypical friends are having, as the autistic man may say or do something socially inappropriate. This shouldn’t be a problem. After all, some might argue that this would adversely affect them in an employment situation and that those who say autism is an asset in employment are mistaken. Ari Ne’eman offered a solution to this some years ago. All we have to do to eliminate autistic unemployment is to end social pleasantry as a criteria for hiring employees and evaluating their job performance. No reason why we can’t do this in dating situations also. No matter how inappropriately the autistic man acts, the woman can just eliminate social pleasantry as a criteria for picking a boyfriend. If he tells her best friend how much weight she’s gained recently, it does not matter.
Now that I’ve written this article that the New York Times and Wall Street Journal won’t write, I’ll be waiting for dating services to open up for women seeking suitors, where all the candidates will be autistic men and they’ll extol all of these virtues we have. Maybe we can get the socialistic government of Denmark to provide the start-up money for this endeavor. Or maybe the current governor of Delaware and their state legislature will provide an $800,000 grant for such an enterprise. Since they both did this with Specialisterne and Thorkill Sonn it’s only fair they do it for dating too.