Sure, they may taste like banana rainbows and unicorn “stuff” when they’re finished, but what goes into a pastry as yellow and creamy as a Twinkie may make you yellow and squeamish.
We sent an undercover investigator in the depthy bowels of America’s agricultish nightmare for almost 18-months to uncover the truth.
To see what goes in to get what comes out, and discover why it tastes so disgustingly delicious.
Sure, the third through fifth ingredients stated on the package are all variants of sugar, (sugar, corn syrup and high-fructose corn syrup,) but only because if they used a single type of sugar it would be the first ingredient on the package.
But that’s just what they want you to believe.
Such an easy smokescreen to see through, if you know what you’re looking for.
But we were looking for something a bit more sinister. Namely: The Truth.
And we found it.
Our reporter went deep inside the swollen belly of the already-pre-swollen beast, risking life and limb, being paid merely time and a half for hours over forty in a given week, to bring you this Glossy News exclusive.
If you have children, especially of the pudgy variety, you may want to call them into the room to watch this shocking undercover video.
I warn you, what you are about to see is precisely for the faint of heart, since people with healthy, non-Twinkie-eating hearts are almost surely so active that they’re probably already inside right now burning calories.
Want more???
Watch our shocking exposé on How Hot Dogs are REALLY Made.
That is, if you can stomach* it.
* Get it? Because stomach is what you do with food, but also how you digest things like… oh never mind.
I love the accent. Diabeaters! Hilarious!