Medical Marijuana to be Grown in White House Garden this Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. – It is the first week of February, and for Michelle Obama, this means it is time to start planning the White House organic garden. While the garden will again contain a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a few ornamental flowers, a new addition is sure to create the most controversy ever.

The White House organic garden will include several varieties of medical marijuana. The District of Columbia, like many states, has enacted medical marijuana laws allowing the cultivation of marijuana for medical purposes. A special gardener with a marijuana growing license has been appointed to oversee this particular plot of the garden.

Tommy Chong, no relation to Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong fame, is a Japanese gardener who is well versed in the various types of cannabis and their medicinal properties. Marijuana will comprise only a small part of the “medicinal herb” portion of the White House garden this year, which will also include various sage plants, lemon verbena, St. Johnswort, Valerian, Feverfew, Eyebright, and others.

A spokesperson for the garden project claims that this will be a first for the White House. “Marijuana has gotten a bad rap for decades,” said Mary Bridges, no relation to Jeff Bridges, notorious for his vocal backing of the legalization of marijuana. Cultivating medical marijuana in the White House garden to produce CBD based products shown at https://www.ukmeds.co.uk/vitamins-supplements/cbd will send a clear message to America that this administration will do whatever it takes, including growing Maeng Da, (a particularly potent Hawaiian variety of the plant) to assure better health for our citizens.”

Asked if this means that the medical marijuana grown in the White House garden means that local dispensaries in the area, will have different strains including maeng da for sale, Ms. Bridges replied “Oh heavens no. While growing medical marijuana is allowed, we have not yet approved the opening of any dispensaries in our area.

Anticipating the next question, Ms. Bridges explained “No, the Obamas are in excellent health and will not be using the marijuana themselves for any health issues.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

52 thoughts on “Medical Marijuana to be Grown in White House Garden this Year

  1. Obama needs to wake up and listen to the people. His appointed Attorney General gets it and even his gardener. So does this mean he has a valid MMJ card? Hmmmmmm. If not, I anticipate a DEA raid at the White House in the near future. Best of luck to him. What a crazy country we live in.

  2. Once again, it is alright for them, but not for everyone else. There are good people sitting in a prison for 10 – 15 years, some even longer for this. My head is about to explode. This burns me up. They better legalize marijuana for everyone now. This is not right.

  3. "Glossy News is an accredited online satirical publication and a contributing member of HumorFeed. Our stories also appear on Google News and other select news aggregators."

  4. Patti did something right. This story is still listed as among our most popular. Kudos, sister!

  5. Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with smoking marywanna……
    Ther iz reely nothin wrong with……..I fergits…..

  6. This is BS, I have Multiple sclerosis, and this is no joke! Look alcohol ruined my life for years, jobs, relationships, heath etc. when I was diagnosed years before Mont.Williams, and there was no medical MJ, A fellow at at support group suggested I try it. man oh man, I am hear to tell you what liver killing pharma. doesn’t want you to know! it brought instant relieve after 2 puffs (tokes)!! My nerves returned to normal and that was 17 yrs ago and I’m fine NO wheel chair as my doctor said i would need, that’s truly a miracle drug and if Obama had been stricken, you better believe federal law would change, and he would toke up 3x’s a day like myself!!! I saw don’t get high I return to normal!!! I have also seen it cure cancer!!!!! under a microscope!! In a documentary, go look for it, the cure it right in front of us!!!!! Amen! get rid of the meth, coke, opiates unless hospitalized and look to the God giving cure it’s right there!!!!!!!!!CANNABIS

  7. “They should categorize this as humor right up front at the beginning of the article so their is no mistake about it. You should not have to search the article to find out its just humor.”

    The editors only openly categorize humor up front when it is too obvious that the story is really funny satire. On the serious satire, like this fine example, they let the reader bask in the mellifluous words of the artsy writer without telling about the humor ahead. They hate to spoil it for the advanced satire reader.

    They are nice that way, these editors.

    (ps — they also get off at their ed. meetings about the silly people who think stuff on here is serious.)

  8. The irony of this is that they actually do gow it under contract at the University of Mississippi for the Government ran Medical Marijuana Compassion project.. It was closed to new patient applications under GW Bush’s administration.. But there are 4 remaining patients that the US Government grows Cannabis for , and they distribute up to 10 ounces a month in rolled joints to each patient and their doctors report nothing but positive results.. But wait it is illegal under federal law because it has no medicinal value no?! EXACTLY…..

  9. Wow, just wow says:
    June 7, 2011 at 2:33 am

    Seriously, almost everyone on here is a complete idiot. (minus the guy who warns of the U.N. codex and the guy who references Rick Simpson’s cancer cure)
    ———————————————————–

    …says the guy who has “Wow, just wow” as a moniker…..

  10. Seriously, almost everyone on here is a complete idiot. (minus the guy who warns of the U.N. codex and the guy who references Rick Simpson’s cancer cure)

  11. Well let’s wait and see if they call in sick on 4-20. Don’t forget to play hookie tomorrow to show your support of the peacefull movement. Do some gardening of your own. Don’t buy booze that day either, help send a message to the biggest drug dealers (the alcohol industry).

  12. When is the First Lady going to get a knock at the door from the
    Social Services due to the kids.

  13. i heard about this story from a real news letter as a genuine news story! i can’t believe people still don’t get satire, the gardener’s called tommy chong for gods sake!

  14. I grew 3 plants in my back yard for pain and the state of Fla. put me in prison for a year and a half.How is it LEGAL for them to grow it.But I guess it depends on who you are????????????????????

  15. Just read this article about POT being grown at the white house….You must be kidding???? Why grown it if the only reason is its medicinal purpose, and everyone at the white house is healthy???? So, let me get this straight, your gonna grow it, not give it to a dispensary to make use of this Medicinal Herb, and your gonna pay a gardner just to tend it???? How much more unreal does it need to get?? Come on Obamas who do ya think your fooling?

  16. very convenient just to walk out side nd pluck the plant nd smoke it.this way they dont have to pay the dealer.they are breaking laws to please them selves.wow,obamas got high blood pressure,doesnt call for pot.we need to start drug testing government officials nd if they have drugs in their system,they get fired.they are not above the american people.the feds need to walk in nd confiscate it nd charge them for their crimes nd lose their jobs nd benefits.there is no reason our taxes should pay for a drug addict.another crime thats being ignored.

  17. I’m sending the Texas State Troopers around to your house to discuss with you the fact that you can tell the difference.

  18. Well, I’ll be RFreed. You really don’t smoke do you? I can assure you that the drooping plant to the left is marijuana. But you keep thinking it is lemon balm. They can see you coming a mile away…

  19. Um… You can most def get blazed from thc oil. The oil rick Simpson used. Cannabis cures cancer and happens to be the leas harmful substance known to mankind. This is crap if they’re allowed to grow then stop ruining peoples lives for possessing or cultivating “gods” gift of an herb. With all the codex crap and s510 it’ll become illegal to even grow this “lemon balm” before long. Needs to end wake up folks.

  20. We’re a drugged up enough culture as it is.

    And you’re not going to get high from smoking the lemon balm that is in the picture. It will leave a nice after taste though.

  21. A few years back, a car that ran on hemp oil was brought to the New Mexico State Fair….they were all detained and nearly arrested by the State Police…what a three ring circus that turned out to be…they were finally released but not for a few days.

  22. Well, with the costs associated with rolling fat blunts, this may serve as a wise move for Mooochelle et al………lol

  23. Are you sure? I think I’ve been hearing a LOT about it already. Where do you get your news from? (The lamestream media, I’m guessing!)

  24. They should categorize this as humor right up front at the beginning of the article so their is no mistake about it. You should not have to search the article to find out its just humor.

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