WASHINGTON, D.C. – It is the first week of February, and for Michelle Obama, this means it is time to start planning the White House organic garden. While the garden will again contain a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a few ornamental flowers, a new addition is sure to create the most controversy ever.
The White House organic garden will include several varieties of medical marijuana. The District of Columbia, like many states, has enacted medical marijuana laws allowing the cultivation of marijuana for medical purposes. A special gardener with a marijuana growing license has been appointed to oversee this particular plot of the garden.
Tommy Chong, no relation to Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong fame, is a Japanese gardener who is well versed in the various types of cannabis and their medicinal properties. Marijuana will comprise only a small part of the “medicinal herb” portion of the White House garden this year, which will also include various sage plants, lemon verbena, St. Johnswort, Valerian, Feverfew, Eyebright, and others.
A spokesperson for the garden project claims that this will be a first for the White House. “Marijuana has gotten a bad rap for decades,” said Mary Bridges, no relation to Jeff Bridges, notorious for his vocal backing of the legalization of marijuana. “Cultivating medical marijuana in the White House garden will send a clear message to America that this administration will do whatever it takes, including growing Maui Waui, (a particularly potent Hawaiian variety of the plant) to assure better health for our citizens.”
Asked if this means that the medical marijuana grown in the White House garden will be distributed and sold to local dispensaries in the area, Ms. Bridges replied “Oh heavens no. While growing medical marijuana is allowed, we have not yet approved the opening of any dispensaries in our area.
Anticipating the next question, Ms. Bridges explained “No, the Obamas are in excellent health and will not be using the marijuana themselves for any health issues.”