Dateline: WHYNOT, NC—Hermann Gunzenhauser, a social scientist at True Dat University, has published a paper extrapolating the long-term effects of the proliferating allegations of sexual harassment and molestation in the entertainment industry and in government, business, and all other social sectors.
The professor distinguishes between sexual abusers and rapists, on the one hand, and three other kinds of heterosexual men, on the other. First, masculine or alpha males are aggressive in their attempts to seduce women, and emphasize the qualities that make men different from women.
Second, emasculated or beta males “go overboard with liberalism,” succumbing to the radical feminist narrative that masculinity is the root of evil and so men should be more like women so that everyone can be equal in all respects.
“Women are internally conflicted,” writes Professor Gunzenhauser. Masculine men fulfill women’s romantic fantasies of how men should behave, whereas emasculated men conform to feminist dogmas about what women need as opposed to what they really want.
According to the professor’s exhaustive search of the records of accusations and prosecutions, the number of men who sexually abuse women—in the sense of genuinely acting against their will, such as by continuing with an attempt at seduction after the woman has demonstrated her disinterest or her opposition—is around five percent of American males.
By contrast, the vast majority of men who have been accused of being sexual abusers after the Weinstein scandal, who total around fifty percent of American males, are just masculine men who exhibit traditional alpha male traits of assertiveness and independence.
Prof. Gunzenhauser predicts that masculine men will have four choices as they learn that masculinity is forbidden in liberal, civilized parts of America. They can become predators and force women to submit to them sexually, whereupon they’ll likely be caught and imprisoned. Alternatively, they can move to the increasingly barbaric conservative states, they can emasculate themselves, or they can become the third type of heterosexual male: the drop-out who contents himself with porn and video games, having given up on women.
“In what’s been called the ‘sexodus,’ the drop out male retains a semblance of masculinity,” writes the professor, “and retreats to a virtual world in which his heroism is honoured and rewarded rather than condemned. Inadvertently, the semi-masculine drop-out punishes civilized women by consigning them to the Sophie’s choice between emasculated men and lesbian feminists.”
According to the professor, the surge of liberal protest against masculinity in America is due to a radical feminist agenda in which lesbians have discovered an insidious means of fulfilling their fantasy of dating and converting straight women. By demonizing masculine men, forcing them to become outlawed predators, conservative trolls, or feminine pseudomen, heterosexual women will come to prefer the homosexual option.
This is for two reasons: female sexuality is more fluid than the male kind, and emasculated men suffer from the uncanny valley problem, as it’s called in robotics. “We’re turned off when something looks and behaves almost exactly like something else but doesn’t quite make it,” write the professor. “When men behave very much like women but are clearly still men, women are disgusted and will have no choice but to seek companionship with the real deal, that is, with other women.”
The battle lines in the war between the sexes are being redrawn. “Trumpism represents a surge of toxic masculinity in the conservative states, but the traditional patriarchal values are being weaponized under the cover of white supremacy and neofascism,” writes the professor. “Blue collar America is being hollowed out by globalization and is reverting to jungle norms. On average, both male and female conservatives survive by giving up on humanity and acting like animals.”
“Meanwhile, the liberal states will be run more and more by women and neutered men.”
According to the analysis, within twenty years a lesbian Amazonian warlord will rule the remains of the big cities in liberal America which will have crumbled because of the dearth of masculine, blue collar men there to repair the infrastructure. Liberal heterosexual women “will serve as sex slaves for the warlord’s bevy of lesbian feminist lieutenants.”
Conservative America will be overrun by “trolls and troglodytes” who will periodically invade the more civilized states and “prey on liberal women by touching their knees a couple of times, calling them pretty, and showing them their penises.”
Confined to their man caves, civilized, semi-masculine drop-out males will await the coming of their messiah who will “solve the mysteries of what women want and of how to give it to them without being ostracized, imprisoned, or forced to sell-out humanity by becoming a Republican.”
By Thirty two (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
