Washington D.C.-When President Barack Obama meets with leaders of foreign nations, he will now use a fist bump as a greeting, that according to a White House Press Release.
Reporters asked the President to elaborate during a round of golf early this afternoon. “I have seen Putin leave the restroom without washing his hands.
That’s disgusting. Make no mistake, I am not going to contract some disgusting disease from that little weasel because he can’t practice proper hygiene.
Frickin barbarian,” said President Obama as he was washing his balls on the 8th hole of the East Potomac Park Golf Course in the shadows of the Washington Monument in Washington D.C.
White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest quickly redacted the President’s remarks with an impromptu press briefing.
“The President had some drinks on the course today, so please don’t take his comments seriously. He likes to have fun with the press from time to time, especially after downing a few of his favorite India Pale Ales. The real reason for the fist bump is over fears of Ebola.
“It is safer to fist bump than to shake hands in times like these. Actually, according the CDC, touching elbows is the safest way to go. Touching elbows, really, really Deeks?
This is the leader of the free world were talking about here, the man who took out Bin Laden, the President isn’t some pansy who is going to be touching elbows! The President has an image to uphold, and lets face it, the fist bump is just, well, pretty damn cool.
“So we are just killing to birds with one stone here, not only will the President look really cool and hip, he will hopefully be preventing the spread of Ebola and other nasty diseases.”
Asked whether the President will employ the fist bump in the states, Earnest replied, “No not at this time. Except for those silly republicans, ’cause who ‘nose’ where there hands and fingers have been.”