Ebola Nurses Going on Tour

Dallas, TX-As part of an initiative to educate the public about the dangers of Ebola, 5 of the nurses who have been treating Ebola victims in Dallas are going to be embarking on a 45 day and 3 hour tour.

“This will not be just a tour, but really a great way to educate the public about this terrible disease and hopefully prevent it from spreading further,” said Juanita Rose Erikson, one of the nurses who has treated several of the Ebola patients in a Dallas hospital.

“This could become the worst epidemic since the Plague, and we are going to spread the word all over the country about how dangerous this sucker is.”

The nurses made their announcement during a press conference which was held at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport at the TGI Fridays, “Where Every Day is Friday.” When asked why they chose to kick off their tour at the popular restaurant, RN Wanda Jacobsen quickly shouted “Are you kidding me, Endless Appetizers for $10, that’s why!”

The nurses are planning to fly to the East Coast first and start their tour in the Big Apple at a bagel shop in upper Manhattan, and then will proceed on a walking tour of the big city, with plans to high five everyone they pass.

Just so people won’t be frightened by these strangers randomly high fiving everyone, they will be wearing big buttons that say “Ebola Sucks”, and “Give a Five for the Hives.” They also plan on shaking hands at local nursing homes and kissing babies at the local nurseries.

After New York, the nurses plan on crisscrossing the country by plane, train, and automobile until they have spread their message to everyone humanly possible. If you like what they are doing you too can become an enrolled nurse with a diploma of nursing and start tdoing the work they are doing.

There is even talk that they will be hitting the cruise ships and riverboat casinos to make sure they aren’t missing any major modes of transportation. “We won’t rest until you do. If this tour is a success, we plan on taking this thing global.” Erikson added.

Author: Dink the Shrink

Advice/humor columnist from Madison, WI. Yes, Madison is the birthplace of The Onion, but those hosers have nothing on Glossy News!