God to Withhold Prayer Requests From Cor Jesu High School Administrators Since Firing of Gay Teachers

ST. LOUIS – Explaining that he had, “literally no idea what they were thinking,” deity of the Catholic Church and contributing author Yahweh said in a press release he would no longer be accepting prayer requests from officials at Cor Jesu Academy in reaction to their firing of two homosexual teachers.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can not, in good conscious, continue to cure the sick, pick winning lottery numbers, and alter the outcome of sporting events if the request comes from members of such an institution. These sanctions are both warranted and necessary.”

His divine response comes after Olivia Reichert and Christina Gambaro, instructors at the local Catholic all girls high school in St. Louis, Missouri, were asked to resign once Cor Jesu administrators were informed a mortgage application from the couple. Reichert and Gambaro were married in New York the previous summer.

“Some people have knitting. Others have model trains. H, E, double hockey sticks, some people collect stamps. Accepting all people no matter what – no matter what – is kind of my thing,” said the All Mighty Creator.

“I just hope that next time one of those – ugh I can’t curse can I – ‘individuals’ needs a favor out of me, they remember their actions. Yeah, I’m talking to you. You know who you are.”

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