In a desperate attempt to avoid a statewide water shortage, California governor Jerry Brown has requested that all men and women in the state pee outside in the woods, on the lawn or in a garden area.
“These are desperate times”, Brown reminded reporters. “We need to conserve water any way we can!”
Brown claims that if all 38 million residents of California follow his proposal this would save the state 832,200,000,000 gallons of fresh water a year, assuming for 3 gallon per flush and 6 pisses per day per person.
Browns other water saving proposals include:
Showering no more than once a week. And two or more people showering at a time. Assuming 20 gallons of fresh water per shower this would save the state at least 277,400,000,000 gallons per year.
Don’t wash your car. This would result in an additional savings of over 24,000,000,000 gallons per year.
In addition to the above proposals Brown urges residents to drink only bottled water that has been bottled in water rich areas such as Maine or North Dakota. This would save the state an additional 13,870,000,000 gallons per year.
Agricultural use of water to be reduced by 2/3 resulting in a yearly savings of nearly 1 trillion gallons per year.
“These would be temporary measures until the drought is over”, the governor continued. “Please don’t make me send out the National Guard to make these things mandatory!”