A post-mortem has revealed that 55-year-old banker, George Wellford, from New York choked to death on a Cheeto.
The results come after 3 days of debate as to whether it was in fact a Cheeto or, as his wife insisted, a piece of shell from a lobster.
Mrs. Wellford had announced immediately after his death that he had choked on a piece of lobster, which he had freshly cooked by their home chef, for lunch.
Claims by distant family members that the chef had told them he had offered to make the lobster and Mr. Wellford is alleged to have replied “Nah, big bag of Cheetos for me and some vintage Roadrunner cartoons” lead to the post-mortem enquiry.
The post-mortem report pointed to the orange stains on his fingertips and in the corners of his mouth as part of the evidence, also the lack of lobster in his bloodstream.
Mrs Welford was not available for comment but a neighbour and close family friend Edith Ennis said that the family would be devastated by the news.
“No one wants to choke on something like that, apart from it being near impossible because they simply melt in the mouth but also for your family’s sake you want it to be something more exotic. It is a terrible reflection on the social standing of the family.”
Frito Lay, the makers of Cheetos, did not return telephone calls from Glossy News because we never tried to reach them.
I was very impressed by the photo. I totally thought it was real.
Quite the touch around the mouth and super “trend” catch. 🙂 Orange (actually tangerine) is a huge fashion color this year.
No comments on my wicked photoshop work? Internets, I am disappoint.