It happened recently, after a long day of free-speech-practicing, that I had occasion to give advice to a person much younger than myself regarding language. This young person, though potentially very bright, was experiencing some confusion over the ubiquity of certain charged words in the media.
It upset her that persons said to be well-educated were so tolerant of words and phrases she deemed offensive.
Her concerns made me smile –I couldn’t help but remember the moment this exact dilemma occurred to me. I was engaged in a high school AP English class; we were reading Huckleberry Finn at the time.
On this particular day, our very animated teacher was railing yet again against the evil forces of political correctness that increasingly threatened to rob posterity of the greatest gems of our heritage.
Apparently, some self-righteous area teen had a grudge against poor old Huck, based only on the frequency of a tiny, less-than-diversity-sensitive word that may or may not begin with the letter “N”, and was stirring up trouble, hiring lawyers, or threatening to, just so he didn’t have to read.
“They have psychologists arguing that it’s somehow mentally damaging for a black male to read the “N”-word over and over,” my teacher explained, “which might be true. But at some point, you’ve got to get over it.”
I remember quite vividly the confusion I experienced, as I tried to process the situation in diploma-less futility. Get over what, I wondered. Get over the fact that people used to use the N-word, like, whoa? Get over the fact that the memory is now enshrined in classical literature? Or get over the fact that, in this day and age, it is apparently the mark of a civilized mind to be able to tolerate slurs?
After obtaining my bachelor’s degree, the matter of course became clear. The latter was true. It absolutely is the mark of a civilized mind to be able to tolerate slurs. We can’t very well allow teens to shy away from fine literature just because it invites them to envision themselves as sub-human. Teens must, instead, be trained at an early age to accept unwhiningly all controversial aspects of our society and culture, in much the same way that sophisticated diners can accept an unexpected tang or spiciness in an otherwise-pleasant dish.
Now, this is not to say, of course, that the N-word and others like it should be tolerated in general. No, indeed. In general, it has been established that these words mar the fabric of our communities, occasionally even giving rise to untoward behavior. Rather, it is important that those intending to become educated should learn the proper venue for every category of slur–for, you see, certain slurs are better suited than others for certain cultural conditions.
Having learned it myself, after much hard work and many a troublesome faux pas, I have been able to identify and make use of four specific categories of slur, each with its own unique history and preferred usage. For the convenience of aspiring slur-connoisseurs, I have copied my notes below.
I have taken special care to include the reason why each of these categories are to be tolerated by educated persons, so as to render the issue as clear as humanely possible. Please note that categories have been identified based on cultural prevalence and predictability, as well as intensity of flavor.
Nigger – This category includes other cultural slurs, such as Spic and Kyke, as well as racial/cultural images, that are universally abhorred in the modern, educated world. They may enjoy prestige in classical works ranging from books to movies to art, but may only be used in modern productions to indicate something or someone villainous, as modern characters are expected to know better.
The total rejection of these words in modern contexts renders any attempt at criticism too obvious and too simple to be intellectual. Therefore, in classical works they must be accepted unconditionally by the educated as a neutral fact of life.
Cunt – The Cunt category includes other lewd words and phrases (eg., “don’t be such a pussy”; “I’ve got balls”; etc.) that underscores the superiority of maleness over femaleness. Appropriate modern usage of words in the Cunt category always involves shaming a male for possessing less-than-adequate levels of courage or assertiveness, by comparing him with females, who are weak and cowardly.
Because such language is undeniably abrasive, the act of using it in this specific context is in itself a courageous and powerful act – therefore, anyone who gets offended is a pussy and should be treated as such (i.e., unpleasantly fooked).
Any female who gets offended, however, may be regarded not only as a pussy but also as a feminist bitch, rendering her entirely unfuckable and thus a complete failure at her primary social function. (Please note, these peculiar creatures actually form a major pillar of academia and must be humored in every academic setting. In real-life social situations, however, educated persons are well within their rights to shun them.)
Faggot – The Faggot category includes all incendiary words and phrases that relate to being a gay male. The appropriate usage of the Faggot category in modern times is very similar to that of the Cunt category; the words and phrases within it are used to shame straight males by comparing them with homosexuals, who are as weak and cowardly as females, and who deserve to be raped even more.
Imagery in this category usually focuses on the act of anal rape, rather than any static physical trait, as in the Cunt category. Because only someone who is incapable of being anally raped can joke about it, it stands to reason that anyone who takes issue with Faggot-type speech is the type of person who should be anally raped, repeatedly. One can easily understand how important it is that educated males make every effort to tolerate this category of spicy speech (i.e., for God’s sake don’t whine about it).
Retard – The Retard category is perhaps the most narrow of all – it includes only the handful of words used to refer to the mentally challenged. The word itself is so uniquely tangy that the last syllable alone may be combined with any number of neutral words to give them an intense forcefulness (eg., libtard, republitard, fucktard – oooh, tangy!) Anyone with an education knows that intellect is, in the end, what separates valuable human beings from worthless ones. A retarded human being is the most repulsive of all creatures to a civilized mind, and any likeness to such an individual should be avoided by the educated. However, using the word, “retarded,” in modern culture is a perfectly acceptable way of underscoring your own intelligence and value to society – retarded people, after all, can’t understand what we’re saying.
I hope the novice can make careful study of my notes; it is vital that all cultured individuals be always exactly the right amount of tolerant in any situation.Being seen as too tolerant of slurs can result in even greater social discomfort than being not tolerant enough. Learning to respond correctly to discriminating language can take a lot of time and effort, which is why we require our high-schoolers to begin the process with Huck Finn – where else can
they enjoy the N-word in its original context? With indifference as your trusty guide, all the gems of culture will yield themselves to you. And if the process ever begins to overwhelm, just take a deep breath and remember – the key to being tolerant is in not caring.