Vancouver, BC – GlossyNews.com – In what may finally put to rest the perennial “Does Bigfoot exist?” controversy, a team of Canadian scientists from Saskatchewan State College announced Tuesday that it has discovered a race of pygmy Bigfoots living deep in the remote pine forest of British Columbia.
“We tracked a trail of their massive footprints for three days,” says lead archaeologist Jacob Standunsky. “In terms of shoe size, these were fourteens at least. The tracks had all the earmarks of Big Foot footprints and after three days we finally spotted the creatures, four of them, both male and female, crouched around a campfire, feasting on a slaughtered rabbit.”
The Big Foots, it turns out, are “big” in foot only, being tiny hairy people with gigantic feet. When they spotted the scientists, they immediately scattered helter-skelter into the forest and disappeared.
“Apparently they have evolved snowshoe-like feet to enable them to walk over the frozen crust of the snow” says Standunsky, “together with extreme self-consciousness about their big feet, which is presumably why they stay hidden in the forest.”