Categorized | Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology

Local scientist and teen killed in freak Delorean accident

Local scientist and teen killed in freak Delorean accident

An eccentric inventor and local teen were killed yesterday when the Delorean in which they were riding crashed into a wall at about 90 mph. Martin McFly, 18, and Dr. Emmett ‘Doc’ Brown, age unavailable, were pronounced “really dead” at the scene. Homeland Security became involved in the investigation after radiation was discovered to be leaking from what authorities are calling a “flux capacitor” in the back of the vehicle. Federal investigators are calling the incident a possible “thwarted act of terrorism”.

One NSA investigator who refused to be identified spoke candidly of Dr. Brown’s connections to terrorist groups in Libya. “His computer and phone records show he has been in contact with shadowy groups for some time,” said Edward Snowden, who once again declined to be identified. “It is believed that these groups provided the plutonium Brown was planning to use to make a weapon of mass destruction.”

A search of Dr. Brown’s home revealed a sophisticated weapons making laboratory. “We don’t know what he was planning yet, but we know it was big,” said another loose-lipped intelligence officer from the CIA. “Of course, we’ll have to crack his code to see what he meant by ‘traveling to the past’. We believe it is code speak for an attack on a national monument or other historical site.”

Friends of McFly were stunned by the news but not really that surprised. “We always thought his relationship with Old Doc was kind of abnormal,” said Biff, an acquaintance of McFly’s at school. “But then again, so was my relationship with his alcoholic mother. BOOM! There, I said it!”

Authorities are denying rumors that Doc Brown was a former NSA researcher involved in time travel research. “While time travel might be useful in conducting background investigations, it becomes problematic to get that information back to the future,” said bio-terrorism investigator James Cole. “In fact, the entire concept of time travel is simply ludicrous!” he said before promptly disappearing into thin air.

Local police are being kept in the dark, of course, and are calling the equipment discovered in Doc Brown’s laboratory “meth making equipment’. But, that’s what they call any lab equipment they don’t understand. Two stoner friends of McFly’s, Bill Preston and Ted Logan, denied that McFly was in anyway involved with meth OR terrorism. “He was too laid back, man. He just liked to sit around and play his guitar,” said Bill. “Accusations of him being a meth head are just bogus!” added Ted.

Funerals arrangements have yet to be announced. According to sources inside the investigation, “The bodies appear to have vanished.” Local coroner Sarah Conner, who’s had recent threats on her life, called it, “Strange but not entirely unheard of!”

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Deceased and recently reanimated writer lurking around a website near you. The Afterlife has no cable so I came back as one of the Writing Dead. On a side note you can starve looking for brains to eat around here. But I digress....

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2 Responses to “Local scientist and teen killed in freak Delorean accident”

  1. Sheogorath says:

    So you tied together Back to the Future, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and Terminator in ond article. Nice one!

  2. Emmett Brown says:

    Hey Marty, I'm on facebook now. We got seperated in the worm hole. I believe you landed 100 years further into the future and if you are reading this I'm already dead.

    Just in case I fail, I made a copy of the time machine schematics as well as the flux capacitor and put them on what is called a usb thumb drive in the year 2015. I placed it in that PO Box that I told you about. The key is the small round one I put on your keychain. You shouldnt have a problem finding a vehicle in your time capable of 88 mph. Just make sure it has a has a stainless steel body. There are already a lot of composite materials being used on cars in 2015. Remember stainless steel improves the flux dispersal generated by the flux capacitor, and this in turn allows the vehicle smooth passage through the space time continuum. Thats why I originally used the DeLorean.

    If you succeed I'll be waiting for you on Wednesday July 28th 2015 at the Starbucks on the corner of 6th and Main in Hill Valley. They have wireless internet here but the coffee is way overpriced.

    Oh, by the way. In 2015 the president is black, gay people can get married, and porn is on every electronic device. Crazy right?

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