Consumers Wowed by PNC “Free iPad” Promotion

Consumer circles are going wild over a new promotion being offered by PNC Bank to first-time clients who opt to open an account with the nationwide financial company.

Anyone who pays a non-refundable, $700 bank fee under the promotion is eligible to receive an Apple iPad, absolutely free of charge.

“What we are shooting for here is great value in every new customer’s experience with PNC Bank,” said Mark Maners, PNC’s chief marketing operative.

“Instead of the slushy garbage which other institutions offer, we give people the opportunity to pick up another useless piece of technology without paying a single dime.”

Consumers interviewed by GlossyNews.com reporters showcased universal excitement about the offer. Full-time janitor Dom Fall explained how the process worked as he busily played around with his iPad. “I got my paycheck in the mail, cashed it, and walked right into my local PNC. They took the dough, and I claimed my prize.”

Civil service worker Jeff Phillips on the other hand could not quite hold back his gloating over the greatness of the deal. “Those suckers will never know what hit them,” he sneered.

Also interviewed was Darlene Rogers, an internet-savvy coupon compiler who broke into tears of happiness when she opened the box of her new iPad. “Last year I thought I had stumbled on the ultimate deal, a Chuck E Cheese’s promotion offering to triple my IQ or no money back, but this truly tops it. Hymns will be sung of the beauty and perfection that this deal represents until the end of time.”

According to a secret source, Wells Fargo is planning to compete with PNC by offering a similar deal, only with the Microsoft Zune as the giveaway.

Author: Veto Votti

Washington, D.C. native stuck in the Alps. I use a typewriter and then copy and paste to my computer screen..it doesn't work so well.